Because Apples
Depression Diary
Two o'clock in the morning Adam woke up. One of his habits was not eating last night. Hungry in the middle of the night.
Forget for a moment the lingering dizziness and walk out of the room. Slowly, not wanting to disturb Vina and Nadine who were also sleeping in her room. It seems that they are uncomfortable with only thin carpets. While Deny curled up on the sofa just wrapped in a sarong cloth.
It's raining outside, so cooking noodles is the best option. In addition to the reason for the food being exhausted.
It feels so good. Boiled noodles with a jacket that wraps around the body are the best combination in the cold of the air. There was hot tea in front of him.
There's also an apple pie Dita brought in last night. Maybe if he didn't force it, he would have finished the pie last night.
Forget about coffee for tonight because Adam still wants to go back to sleep.
“ Adam? “
Vina looked at him sleepily. Rubbing eyes and a small yawn. The woman took a chair and sat down next to him.
“ What are you doing? “
“ I'm starving, Tan. Auntie wants too? I made it, “
Vina shook her head, “ Why don't you wake up Auntie? “
“ No need. It is customary to be hungry at night. “
Adam grabbed a cigarette at the table. But he had not yet placed it on his lips, the white object had already changed hands.
“ Can't smoke anymore! “ Vina did not throw it away, but soaked all the cigarettes along with the wrapper.
“ This is what makes you sick. Aunty knows you are smoking again! “ Adam kicep.
Don't know what to reply to. His head was still dizzy and did not want to argue. It was only a pang of annoyance that came out of his mouth.
“ I'm going to sleep again, Tan. Still dizzy. “
Vina nodded. Letting the son return. Switch to instant noodles that suddenly tease his stomach. He didn't say he wasn't hungry, remember.
“ Why? “
Vina flinched, “ Astaghfirullahaladzim!! “
Getting annoyed at Deny that surprised him. Then back to mix the spices while waiting for the noodles to cook.
“ How do you wake up? “
“ Body I'm all sick, Mas. “
Deny chuckles. He also felt the same thing actually, “ Bikinin also yes. I'm suddenly hungry for noodles. “
Vina snorted, “ Mi what? Fried noodles what boiled noodles? “
“ Mi boiled dong! Rain-rain gini is good that use gravy, “
“ Wait in the living room there! “
With a nod in response, Deny returned to the living room. Look around for tv shows that might be interesting at these hours.
“ Hello, Sufyan! “
There is a lawyer across the line.
“ Sorry to interrupt early in the morning. Please send my suit to this address now. My address is WA. “
“ … “
“ Yes, thanks. “
As soon as the phone connection was turned off, Deny sent Adam's address to his personal assistant.
Along with the arrival of Vina and a bowl of instant noodles that are still evaporating.
“ I don't want to know, Mas. But tomorrow Adam has to get out of the park! If Adam still works, ask for a job at our cafe! “ said Vina sitting next to him.
“ Yes-yes. Adam was not healed either. Can't work yet. “
“ Pay also rent Adam's apartment! Let the salary be for the jajan! “
Deny nodded. The strapping man was enjoying the fatty carbohydrates too much.
“ Which branch in Malang? “ Deny asked.
Vina. The plan, last night he left for Malang to attend the opening of a new branch of his bakery. But it was obviously impossible because his son was sick. So only represented branch managers.
“ Let alone, “
Equally washed away by boiled noodles. It is different, the romance of the rich but in a simple way. Prianya is handsome, the woman is beautiful. Really good blend. It's only natural that his children are like Nadine and Adam.
“ Looks like you, Mas. “
“ Huh? “ eyebrow the man went up. Not knowing what his wife meant.
“ You guys like ginian. “ Vina raised a bull-faced can in front of her.
Energy drinks were Adam's favorite. No matter how expensive it was in a student's pocket like him, his refrigerator was certainly never empty, along with the apples that were piled up. Moreover, his friends also often fill the stock of the drink.
“ Yes too. Just realized me, “
Some time the door was knocked.
“ Who's early in the morning gini coming? “
“ Most Sufyan. “ words Deny stand.
“ Huh? Are you calling him Sufyan? “ ask Vina with frown.
There was no reply from Deny because the man had already opened the door. Receiving a box of items from the assistant displaying his sleepy face. Obviously the man named Sufyan was still sleepy.
“ I ask to bring clothes for work. “ Deny put the box earlier on the table.
“ I'm still sleepy. Want to sleep again, “
Vina nodded when a kiss was felt on the forehead. Then go back to Adam's room to get a pillow. He just wants to sleep in the living room.
***
Sreth! A chair is pulled.
“ Order two bowl meatballs! The chunky! There are many sheep! “ Adam's word.
Affan who happened to be part of the allotment order today turned his head in wonder.
“ Tumben, Dam. “
Clucked, “ Hunt! “
Affan grunting.
Long time no talk. Leon and Dika are both busy with cell phones. Adam just looked around which suddenly attracted him.
Just making a sound when Affan came up with their order. Even seeing it trouble with a big tray does not make others pity. Really a close friendship.
“ Haircut, Dam? “ said Dika bribed chicken noodles into his mouth.
The canteen is very crowded. Usually, but this time it was more crowded. The weather is not hot, it is cloudy. But many glasses of ice all over the table. It was as if challenging the thirst with which his elites were not attacking.
“ According to lo hair from long to short why? Still new! “ reply Adam ketus.
With his jutek face enjoying the dish of gravy in the heat in front of him. He even started to finish his second bowl. The hungry Adam was terrible.
“ Lo why the hell, Dam? “
“ What is why? “ back to asking Leon.
“ Yes you are very upset. Break up with Anin? “
Adam tickled. Upset is not playing when her lover is involved with his personal problems now.
Only his friends knew about his special relationship with the beautiful teacher. Backstreet on the grounds of not wanting a school frenzy.
Uhuk! Uhuk!
Leon immediately patted Dika's back. Affan is pouring water.
“ Lo seriously? “
Adam thunts. Little bellow, between not caring anymore and being upset.
There was no wind and no rain, suddenly his boss in the warkop fired him. Although it is too much to say it as a dismissal. Unreasonable reason given by his boss.
Often late to work.
Bullshits! He even comes before Ashar every day. That's why from the morning Adam was jarring. No matter the reprimand of his homeroom class. I don't care about the euphoria of the new year. The point is he's upset.
Lost is the source of the money. The only way is to work at the cafe Deny offers. Waitaminute!
He just remembered that. Open your wallet and be grateful to find a small piece of paper tucked between supermarket notes. Adam will try to come there later.
Speaking of money, the school SPP has paid off. Adam swore an oath if he had not yet explored the Tata Usaha space. Astonished and confused when the apartment was also paid, even for the next two years.
“ Keep now how? “
“ Tau! I was offered Om Deny work. “
Leon nodded in understanding.
“ What exactly are you doing, Dam? “
“ Huh? “
Dika himself was also confused by his question.
“ Lo is close to Nadine and her parents. But her relationship is with Anin. “
Ever since they found out his best friend was dating his teacher, they never called Anin again with ‘Kak’.
“ Yes it's up to me. Risk guys are famous yes gini, many like. “
Adam would have flown if he hadn't been pulled.
***
“ Diary My Depression, Bang. “
“ Yo’i! “ the keyboard brother gave a thumbs up.
Just a week Adam worked at this cafe and he did not deny if this place is better than his workplace first. But he also misses Radit and his countrymen.
Hah, he regretted playing guitar in the kitchen a few days ago. His voice is not too bad, but it is also not good. And now he's told to sing in the cafe. If singing was his hobby, Adam would definitely find another hobby.
The string passages from the acoustic guitar began to be heard. His fingers danced there. No need to look because it has been too memorized with the chord. Look at the cafe tonight.
It rained again tonight…
With memories that reveal wounds in the heart…
Wounds that should be treated…
Which I wish never happened…
Visitors are not very focused.
I remember when Dad left, and we started starving…
The usual thing for me, living on the streets…
When I don't understand, it means divorce…
Destroying all the beautiful things that I once had…
I don't know why he chose this song.
It is natural at this time…
I envy you guys…
A happy life thanks to the beautiful, atmosphere in the house…
The thing I always compare with, my dark life…
No self-respect for my life to go on, survive...
Melody is taking over. Just a little while because Adam's voice was back.
Maybe I can forget for a moment…
With the liquor I am currently holding…
Or scratch the glass on my arm…
Whatever I do, I want to forget...
But when I start to realize, from the rest of last night's hangover…
The wound is getting deeper I feel…
Gurgling when accidentally saw Vina in a row of visitors.
When I understand how beautiful it is to be loved…
Things I haven't gotten since I've been living on the streets…
Breathe in for a high note.
It is natural at this time…
I envy you guys…
A happy life thanks to the beautiful, atmosphere in the house…
The thing I always compare with, my dark life…
No self-respect for my life to go on, survive...
Fuck a lot of people.
Adam gritted softly as his tears fell. Over-imagining the meaning of the song.
It is natural at this time…
I envy you guys…
A happy life thanks to the beautiful, atmosphere in the house…
The thing I always compare with, my dark life…
No self-respect for my life to go on, survive...
No self-respect for my life to go on, survive...
Let the drums and guitar fill up afterwards. Adam just held back the crying. But his fingers still play agile. Dancing on guitar strings.
Right after the song was finished, without any long words, it went down. Just thank you for coming out after taking off the guitar. Move out of the cafe through the back door.
Adam was carried away by emotion. The song seemed to be implying his heart all along. Lying if he does not miss the parents he has never met.
The last lyrics are correct. It seemed that he no longer had the pride to continue to sustain life. Why did he expect so much. In what is actually almost impossible.
Why does he feel calm when he is between Deny and Vina. It felt like a family warmth. Feel safe and comfortable with those two people. Feel like a child.
Goddamnit!
Adam shook his head when he met this desire. His heart refused. Conscious because his expectations are too high.
