Anesta And Mahesa

Decisions

I heard the sound of the car and then the people talking were very crowded. Looks like my extended family has arrived. The sound of my aunt calling my name, I who was still in the room immediately went to the living room to meet them.

There are bones, bones, aunts and uda and my cousins. The house feels good with laughter.

"Anesta, why did you just come home? Don't miss you meeting this?"

"Your little girl yeah, that auntie that carried you when you were a kid" My smallest aunt would repeat the same narrative every time she met me.

"How are you, Nes, how are you doing?" If the bones often talk more seriously. Sometimes also joking, and if you have joked to make your stomach hurt because you can not stop laughing.

I see my mom happy to see her family gathered.

"Come, eat us first. I've cooked a lot for you guys" That's his habit. Who come to the house whether it's friends or relatives as much as possible invited to eat together.

Mama will be very happy if the cooking is finished. He said it was not in vain that I was tired of cooking.

Finish eating is usually a further event with a cup of coffee or tea. Chatting assorted. Exchange stories about anything. This time I heard my name called.

I, who was busy in the back, immediately left my job.

"Anesta, sit here. Let your brothers tidy things up, someone wants Bones to ask"

My heart was pounding, I knew they were going to talk about my relationship with Mahesa.

"Yes Bones" I immediately sat cross-legged. One more habit when we are gathered prefers to sit down and roll out a mat or carpet. More freely.

"Someone wants a bone ask. Right now you're close to someone?"

I know exactly what Mahesa means "Yes bones"

"Java Tribe?" I'm nodding.

"We clearly disagree. We were hoping you could find the same one as us. Find the batak tribe"

I was just silent, with no intention of cutting the word bone. I respect him a lot.

"You know Anesta, you're a rollover, your name is also your open call. You see in your headstone, your name's on it"

"You're the biggest boreu in the family. You set an example for your brothers. If in this case you choose Javanese men who do not know our customs at all, how can you teach your brothers" The sound of bones began to rise. And I stick with my attitude, listening with reverence.

"Did she understand the sinamot she had to love if she wanted to marry you? Does he understand the custom of giving the clan because he is not a batak man? "

"Everything is not easy Anesta" Then the bones end his long words.

"He loves you Nes?" Tantaku asked. I'm nodding.

"You love him too?"

"Yes Aunt"

"You're hard to leave him?"

"Yes aunty, I just think right now I feel like he's the best guy I've ever known"

"Whatever the risk I'll bear. No words of regret will come out of my mouth"

"Maybe my path is not easy, one day I may fall. But I would never blame anyone for that decision I took, for consciousness. He's the man I chose to accompany me"

When I talk there is only silence. I just voiced my heart. I also have the right to speak because I will. How can I live with someone I don't love?.

Why does everyone seem to dictate my life, like I have no heart?.

"There was an ex-girlfriend who was still calling him. If again the task here he came to the house" said Mama broke the silence.

"The man still wishes Anesta would come back. But Nesta doesn't want to"

"I'd rather Anesta's back with her ex-boyfriend than Mahesa. Already one tribe with us, it is not difficult anymore we about custom"

"I don't love him ma, there's something between me and him that I don't need to reveal"

"I know Ben better, I don't want to go back with him"

Mama looked at me. Right now I don't care if it's considered impolite.

***

"Nes, mommy wants to talk"

That night it was only me and my mother who had not slept, I guess mama was waiting for the right time to talk alone with me.

"Yes, what do you want to say?"

"Nes, think again about your relationship with Mahesa. My mom still disagrees"

"Mama still wants you to marry one tribe with us. Believe me, Nes, one day you'll regret it"

" Mama, I've already felt how a marriage is not only love but there is a family relationship in it" I saw my mother begin to cry.

"Listen to Nes' mother, leave Mahesa. Mama asked for your grief"

"Please promise Mama Nes" I'm speechless. It feels like my heart is breaking to see my mom cry because of me.

I also dare not promise anything tonight to mama. I don't know how to.

***

It was hard to close my eyes, and my mom slept an hour ago. Wipe my mother's tears before she falls asleep.

What kind of kid am I that made my mom cry?.

I looked at his sleeping face next to me. I'm sorry ma.

Tonight I made a decision, hoping I didn't regret the decision I made.

***

"Nes, remember your mom's message last night. Mama wishes you could understand son" Mama started crying while rubbing my face and hugging me. I just nodded in his arms.

"I'm saying Ma. Don't think too much. What matters is that you're healthy" I hug you once again, I wipe away the tears on her cheeks. There is a newness in the heart. I never like to cry when I let go.

***

Mahesa can't pick me up at the airport. There is an important job, he said. He hopes I understand. We'll meet tonight.

In the taxi I thought back to the decision I made. Again I weigh everything. I know it's very heavy. I took a deep breath, I cried enough last night. I'm sure I can get through it all.

***

Mahesa came with her fresh face and charming smile.

I looked at the face of the man who had filled my days for several years. I want to hold her tight.

"Bee, I miss" He held both my hands.

"There's a little gift for mom and dad. Here I buy you a shirt, I buy it from Parapat. We went to Lake Toba"

"Good Bee's shirt. Thanks yeah"

Then we talked a lot, but tonight Mahesa told me more about her job and her. I'd rather hear him talk.

"How are my mom and my sister?"

"Everything's healthy. There's something I want to tell you" I said, then a story flowed from my mouth about our family meeting discussing my relationship with him.

Mahesa silently listened, occasionally rubbing my back. The tears that I had been holding back had finally collapsed. I imagined my mother's face crying that night.

"Mahesa, leave me. I'm sorry I had to end it all. I can't continue our relationship"

Additional captions

Marga: Family name in batak tribe

Opaque: Grandpa or Grandma

Boru: Daughter

Sinamot: Price or money given by the male party to the female party at the wedding