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Decisions
I saw the young man waving at me, shouting to let me in. I took my feet heavy, forcing myself to smile, but a second later I lowered my head.
Defense destroyed. A single tear slowly flowed down my cheek. God was like siding with me, the night sky slowly descended and the water droplets that then became swift. The night sky was now lowering the water speck, hiding the fact that two people were crying under the rain
Yes cry, wait tonight, it's okay, everything will be fine.
I walked until I was in front of my brother.
“bella, sorry, you're looking forward to older brother huh?” I bent my knees soaring our height, forcing my smile to rest on my face. Ah....I can't! Tonight my defense was completely destroyed.
I pulled his arm, I carried him in my arms. Bella was astonished to see my condition, her instincts said that she should comfort me. Then she hugged me warm. I cried in his arms until I felt relieved
“kakak not what bell, do not put on a face like that” ignorant pinched his cheeks to look at it. My eyes are still puffy. I led him into the house
“Kak why? What was? Why is brother crying? Is sister sick?” He showered me with questions. His face looked very worried.
‘hahahaha” I chuckled lightly pinching her cheeks
“ Brother is okay. Last brother did cry, but after brother cried, brother is fine” I held his shoulder assured that I am fine
‘HUAAAAA!!!!!!!!” Bella's crying so much made me so shocked
“EHH... I mean…. Why even cry?” I was so shocked, why was she crying?
“You why cry?” okeh…. Tonight my sister managed to panic me
"Ka.ka.kokak...na.ngis....Bellas....S.s.sad" She's indisposed to answer my question
I really did not think he would cry because of that, for me it is a trivial thing to mourn, ahhh. I took her hand and I carried her in my arms.
"It's okay" I said softly
Like the curtain of an open stage, the star of the night began to appear, the clouds covering the moon began to move sideways showing the shape of the moon that shines brightest tonight, he said,
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
I entered the gate of the house.I saw the parking lot that already has residents, father's car was perched there. A little run down I entered the house.I opened the entrance, there was a father sitting with his legs raised reading the newspaper
“I go home” No reply from my greetings. Not much for me to care about, I walked in front of him casually. I climbed the stairs to my room. I opened the door and the first sight I saw was a gloomy room
I turned on the room lights and I took off the jacket and the aerphone that still hung around my neck. I took off also the hat and sunglasses given by the girl named Carina. I crawled on the bed, pulling the window curtains.
Tonight's a beautiful night. The stars and the moon that have always been my constant companions at night shine brightly today. And this is the first time I've smiled so wide, mom, it's been a really great day. I cried today, and I laughed today.
This is the first time a woman has celebrated my birthday other than my mother. I'm so happy tonight. I feel the burden on my shoulders just vanished, I feel like walking in the awang awang
*6 years ago
"MOM!!! Look at this!!" Little Fabian ran up to his mother.
The woman smiled gently, saying
"What's up, son?" his voice is so soft. It's so good to hear ears
"HERE! Beautiful flowers!! The colors are white and soft! It's like Mom!" Fabian with sparkling eyes thrust the white flower to his mother.
"Yes this is very pretty" The woman took it from Fabian's hands
"Fabian, this flower is called Dendelions. This flower means Simple and strong Love in fragility"
The little Fabian who heard it only cheered happily and nodded happily
It's a memory of when I was 11 with my mom.
I took the phone off the table, no notifications. Whether it's from my friend or my relative. I was so uncomfortable looking at their faces and their attitude that kept sticking by my side just because it judged me I had it all. They think I'm a fool for what they ask, but to me they're more stupid.
I obey the wishes of those who want money, jewelry, accessories, and other branded goods. I'm afraid of money. But for those who always want to be above it will not be enough
Whether it was a woman or a man, they approached me and flattered me excessively. I follow their words, participate in the games they make.
But no one knows, right? Dozens of important information I've been given. They looked at me as a quiet, obedient child and a stupid child. They play with my money and I play with their minds
Fair enough, right?
I'm pretty tired tonight. I lay on the bed, pulling the blanket up to my chest. The sentence that the beautiful girl had uttered was ringing in my brain. Back to sitting on the bed
Have I not been trying to get out of this zone? Ahh. that's impossible. Take it easy, I've tried. I put my body back down, pulled the blanket back into my chest
UH! IT SUCKS! YOU CAN'T LIE TO YOURSELF!! No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I've tried it won't work! I look back on my childhood to this day. Did I ever try to get out of this zone?
Long breath. Didn't turn! I don't even remember when I ever tried to get out of this zone. Why did I resign? Am I living for Dad? Why am I not living for myself? What have I done for myself as long as I live?
NAY! I HAVE NEVER LIVED FOR MYSELF, OF MY OWN ACCORD, OF MY OWN ACCORD, OF MY OWN ACCORD, OF MY OWN PLEASURE. Not one. I am 16 years old and I live to my father's satisfaction
Mom, what should I do? What am I supposed to do? How do I get free of this? Then the last one, can I do it mom?
I pulled the blanket up to my chest, there was no way it occurred to me to get out of this zone except “against”. At 00:00 it rang right where I decided to live on my own accord. I don't know what awaits me there, but I want to be free
I hope the star is found soon
