The Tarnished Wife

Let me be happy

"Poor Noah. He must have asked his father.” Rara stirred the warm chocolate that had just been served. He still refused to answer Reza's question. “Poor Manda too, the pregnant woman wants to always be close to her husband, Kak.”

“Ra,” call Reza Ogre. “Please don't talk about them!”

“They are already part of your family, Kak.”

Reza grabbed Rara's hand and held it. “I'll divorce Manda.”

“Uhuk ... Uhuk ... Uhuk ..” Rara chokes and puts the glass she originally sipped. “What's crazy sister? Manda is pregnant and is not legal to look at a woman who is pregnant.”

“Then, I beg you. Wait until Manda gives birth. We'll take care of Noah and the child Manda conceived. You are ready ‘kan?”

Rara shakes. “You're still selfish, brother. What if Manda hears these words of yours. He must be hurt. Containing and giving birth it took a great struggle, and then I took it for granted. I'm a girl too, brother. I can't be like that.”

“Darling, I beg you. I'd go crazy without you. Please, don't leave me!”

Rara put her hand on the back of Reza's hand. “Can, Brother. Believe that! You can live without me. There is a perfect woman who can replace me.”

Reza. Now, the tears are flowing. “Ngga, Darling. Can't do.”

Rara took a breath and strengthened Reza, if they could part well. “You are the perfect man and deserve a perfect woman like Manda. As for me, not perfect, Brother.”

Reza shook his head again. He pulls Rara's hand and kisses her many times. Rara's palms were wet with those tears.

Really, Rara sincerely released Reza. I don't know why today it looks more plump and fresh than yesterday.

In the third of last night, Rara deliberately asked Mia to wake up. He prayed for tahajud until the dawn of Adhan arrived. At that time, he poured out all the feelings in his heart on the khalik, until this morning somehow sincerity and strength exist. From today he will take his life back.

And, now when dealing directly with Reza, Rara as usual, although the pain is still there but maybe only the rest. The rest he sincerely if his soul mate with Reza only got here. But for Zayn, he still doesn't know. Given the name there is a mixed feeling in the chest that is difficult to explain.

“You can't forgive me yet?” ask Reza.

“Already, Brother. I've forgiven you. Really am. The proof is we can talk this close now.”

“Then, Why do you still want to part from me? Do you love me no more?” reza asked in a soft voice. He took a tissue to wipe his wet cheek.

“Love? Hm ... I don't know, Brother. Right now I'm not thinking about that. I just want to reorganize my life.”

“We'll put our lives back together from the beginning, honey. With Noah and ..”.

Rara immediately shook her head so that Reza would no longer continue her sentence. “How many times have I told you, I will not separate Noah and the child who is still in his mother's womb from his biological mother. Not going, Kak.”

“Means you don't love me anymore? Yes?” asked Reza by looking into both eyes of Rara.

“Do not know. I don't know. But obviously I don't want to be like you.”

“You forgive me for what Zayn did to me. Even though I was a victim. I'm not guilty. Hah .. how stupid I am, only I am a person who does not know the incident when it concerns me. You should always be angry if I call you Zayn.”

Rara plays the spoon inside her glass while looking down at it, then looks back at Reza who never once turned her eyes away from this woman.

Rara advanced her body to face close to Reza. “After the incident, you kept marrying me and tried to forget about the bad incident. I know how you feel. For five years trying to accept something that is difficult for you to accept. You forgive but still cannot accept me, accept my body that has been touched first by another man.”

“Say,”

“I don't want it that way either, Brother. I forgive you but I'm afraid I can't accept you. Just like you can't make love to me, if I ask. Maybe, now I'm the one who can't make love to you, if you ask. Because I also imagined when you guys ..”

“Stop! Enough, Ra. Don't keep going!” Reza cut off Rara's conversation. He lowered his head and released his hand on Rara's fingers.

Reza covered her face with both palms. He has no power to separate from Rara.

“Let me go, Brother. My tala. We can still be friends. Let me be happy in my own way.”

Reza shook his head again. The tears are back flowing. Then, he opened the hands that he had originally worn to cover his face. “I can't, Ra.”

“If you can't, it means you don't love me.”

“I love you, Ra. Very.”

“Then, my talak. Let me be happy.”

“Your happiness is with me.”

Rara shakes. “No. I'm not happy with you.”

“Alright if that's what you want. I'm gonna yell at you right now.” upset by this debate, Reza finally gave up.

Rara smiled.

Reza straightened his body.A moment they were both silent and Rara continued to look towards Reza while waiting for the word talak from the man.

Reza stayed silent for a long time and thought. Yes, he was no longer able to reach Rara. He persuaded her to come back and apologize. It felt like the door to Rara's heart was closed and Kemal's last words last night were spinning in his head. Love is happy not hurt. Rara has clearly said that she is not happy with Reza.

“Bismilah, Cleopatra Kamila bint Ahmad Sanjaya, I drop talak on you,” Reza said with a trembling voice holding back tears. Then he rubbed his face again.

What has he said? Is this true? Can he not see that face when his eyes open in the morning? Can he not see that smile? I don't know, for sure after this, his days will be bleak, he will definitely get colder and have no heart.

“Thank you, Brother.” Rara smiled.

Reza looked at that smile. Seen a happy smile from Rara's face because happiness has been separated from her. “Goodbye, you have already punished the man who cannot keep this loyalty properly, you can make sure my days will not be better than you, his inner”.