The Holy Nite (BL)

7. Finale

Right now, I'm trapped in the moment of silence. Awful, sickening, terrible moment of absolute stillness and silence.

Then hell breaks out in the form of howling laughter from the sitting room. I dare to open my eyes and sneak close enough to the sitting room that I can see some of those gathered: Steven, Jessica, Jessica, James (looking more embarrassed than I've ever seen anyone), Gabby and Rupert's sister.

"So you've met Matthew before, have you?" Steven laughs's.

"Well, I—" James starts.

"James and Matthew sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Jessica chips in, grin on her face like she's saved the evening or something.

"Christ.." James mutters.

"Well, darling, the other way to have done it would've been to tell us straight away," James's mother – Rupert's sister – says. "Not least because it would've saved your sister using words like that."

"Sorry" James says sheepishly. "So, uhm, since the cat is out of the old bag, do you guys mind if Matt and I take off?"

"Not at all. You kids go right ahead," Gabby says with a voice that makes me dare hope that they won't throw me out.

"Ok, cheers," James says.

As I hear him returning to the kitchen, I angry back to the dishwasher, resuming my tortured look with closed eyes and fingers pinching the bridge of my nose. I don't look up, but I hear his steps drawing near. I hear his breathing, the rustle of his trousers. Then he grabs my hand, the one pinching my nose, and takes it in both his.

"Matt…?" He leans in to peck my cheek. "Let's leave."

I say nothing as we go to the hallway to pick up our jackets. He pulls on his bright red down jacket and his stripy scarf over his suit and this manages to look too adorable for words.

"What?" He asks, when he notices I've stopped to stare at him.

"Nothing, nothing.." I button my coat. At least I have a proper coat to go with the suit. Heh. "Ready?"

"Oh, hell yeah." Another peck at my cheek. "Bye!" He shuts down to the sitting room.

"Yeah, bye!" I add, though wishing I could just leave without anything noticing me, then disappeared forever.

The cousins and Steven call "bye" back, but then there's Gabby's voice asking us to wait. I look at James, who just laughs at the panic that is probably showing on my face. Gabby and Rupert came out to the hallway. She's still giggling, and he's looking. Well, amused, in his own very dry sort of way.

"Look, I'm so, so, sorry," I say to my landlords, looking down at the floor.

"Oh, nonsense! You have fun now, dear," Gabby says, hugging me. "Do you boys want any leftovers?"

"You're not going to throw me out?" I ask at the same time as James says, "Yes please."

"Don't be absurd," Rupert says, a little impatiently, as if I've included them by even considering the possibility.

"It's just a bit of turkey and roast potatoes," she says, landing the containers to James, who nodes his thanks. "Are you getting a taxi? No? Well, walk carefully then. And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas" James and I say in chorus.

I'm just about to close the front door when Gabby's voice stops me.

"Oh Matthew?"

"Yeah?"

"I presume you won't be back tonnage?"

"No…"

"OK, just checking. You don't have to phone us later to let us know."

"OKs. Thanks." Thanks."

I close the door, and walk up to James, who is laughing at me again. I stick my tongue out at him. We start walking down the street. The trees are full of little twinkling lights, and the grass in the gardens is glowing with frost.

"At least this turned out to be a very memorable Christmas" James says.

"Yeah, I'll remember it, alright. I've never been so bloody embarrassed in my life."

"Tell me about it. Still, turned out pretty well, I think. And it was kind of nice to spend Christmas with you."

"Yeah, it was.." I'm just about to say something else when I'm interrupted by something light and white falling down from the sky and landing on my nose.

"Oh my god!" James says excitedly. "Snow!"

"It'll melt before it hits the ground," I mutter, but really.

So there we are, James Arrowsmith and me, walking down a dark, snowy road on our way back to his place. It's dark but for the lights in the trees and the stars in the sky, and looking through the windows of the houses, we see people exchanging gifts, eating and drinking and acting like all the stupid Christmas is true.

It's not that I believe in Christmas miracles or anything, but this night actually seems a little on the divine side. I might not have decked the hall with boughs of holly, the snow falling on us is never going to be enough to build a snowman, let alone pretend he's Parson Brown, and when James and I get back to his place, we sure as hell aren't going to be roasting any chestnuts on the open fire.

And maybe my parents preferred going to Egypt to stay in Oxford watching the King's Speech with me, but still. I got to spend Christmas with someone I'm falling madly in love with.

It could be worth.

..... fin .....