That Black Shadow (Not)My Mother's Spirit?

part 13's

That Black Shadow (Not) My Mother's Spirit?

By: Fittria Handayani

Spirits_Mother_Part13

The morning picks up, while the restless still expands like a hot air balloon that is just waiting for time to erupt. Time feels so slow. But the truth is, it has rolled very fast.

Reluctant to be lodged in the heart. Damn it all, because of the creature that I originally thought was perfect. However, it has now quietly destroyed my wall of trust.

At first, I thought we were love-drunk people. Will stay together, even though the body is away.It turns out, I was wrong! I think the distance has burned that flavor, so that everything breaks down easily.

"You haven't left yet, Ning?" asked Mom standing in front of my door.

Mom just opened the door a little and let her head peek at me. This self was still lethargic, but I remember very well the excited face waiting for me in class. Their faces were always looming, so sinful it felt, to leave them only because of ego.

"Yes, Mom in a moment," I said pretending to arrange the contents of the bag.

Mother, then enter and let the door feel free. Thousands of airs, then scrambling in filled my room. This room has always been a contest of a Ningsih.

This 4 m x 5 m room has a lavender purple color. The wall was also filled with black flower stickers that I accidentally attached. Meanwhile, the color of wood brown dominates furniture.

"Why you?" mother asked me to sit on my bed as if I knew the contents of her child's brain.

"Son, nothing, ma'am," I said.

"What is your relationship with Haikal? You haven't told me about her in a long time?"

Jleb, Mom's question seems to be stuck right at the end of my heart. That man, still a question mark I find difficult to decipher. Even until this moment he sank, no news at all. Maybe this is what he wants to allow himself to believe cheating is his choice.

"Okay, ma'am," I'm covering everything up.

"Ning, I dreamt that I could see you step into the fold. You must be very pretty. I hope whoever your soul mate will be, you'll stay here, take care of your father." Mother patted my shoulders gently with a smile.

I looked at Mom's face. He's still smiling. Meanwhile, I was drowning in the fret that became. What did Mother mean? Did you know about Haikal?

"Hurry, go! It's late, it's late" added Mother.

Mom got out of my room. Then, leave me in desolation. Only the sound of a wall clock ticking followed the sound of a chicken crowing outside.

***

"Assalamualaikum, ma'am." Mr. Kanto, the principal of my school.

The man was always neat in his uniform. The black belt was always tightly coiled around his waist. Meanwhile, his dense hair and mustache were always drizzly. His smile never faded between his firmness of attitude.

"Greetings waalaikum" I said, bowing my head slightly and letting the white man shade under the guava tree.

"Mom, after school we'll have a meeting. I have something to talk about learning."

"Well, sir," agreed with me and made it not long ago.

The man now went with the bag of his box which he had picked up. Looks quite heavy, so he was reluctant to put the bag on his shoulder.

My move also pushed to approach Asep on the field. The boy was flirting with his girlfriend, Mela. The tall, white, and very shy girl looks almost crying made Asep.

Mela kept running after Asep and occasionally stomped her feet with a cursing cry. His voice almost ran out hoarse withstanding the cries, but his footsteps still faithfully followed Asep, despite being tired it seemed. Then, finally the girl fell lethargic in the field because she was tired of chasing.

Her face reddened in line with the color of her skirt that was as delicate and now bathed in dust. The rain began to rarely come, so the dust began to gather in the wind. Drought has reported his arrival whether to how long he will stop.

Asep feels like a winner. It was the teddy bear-shaped hangers that had been Mela's magnet for Asep's pursuit. The boy was shaking his waist on a pile of bricks neatly arranged upwards.

"Don't like sick women, just kidding, Sep!" Umar suddenly came to snatch the bear from Asep's hand.

Asep suddenly shut up. Likewise with my steps that are close to Asep. Suddenly I looked, the man looked different. He no longer wears jerseys and training pants.

The blue-patterned korpri uniform had wrapped around her chest that was fielded. He looks much more charming, probably because it looks different from his usual appearance. Although, I can't deny he is handsome.

"I'm sorry, sir," Asep replied guiltily.

"I'm sorry don't go to me, to Mela. Here, return!" Umar gave the bear to Asep.

Umar's face looked very firm, so Asep quickly complied. Shamefully the boy also approached the girl who was still bowed listlessly. Now, I have helped Mela to her feet, though still silently watching Umar's expression.

"I'm sorry, Mel. Here, the hanger." Asep looks awkward.

Mela happily accepts her bear hanger back. Although, his annoyed expression could not yet hide. However, my gentle strokes on Mela's shoulders were able to quiet her anger to welcome Asep's fingers.

"Yes, you go to class, come in soon!" my door and Asep and Mela agreed.

"Definitely want to say that I look more handsome?" umar whispered closer and made me glare.

"Gee, geer!" my reply.

"Maha ... Mom's funny then." Umar.

His gaze met my eyes. I was wrong and threw away my sight. The man made me into a kind of child who was caught chewing candy, even though it was forbidden.

"Mother Tumben wearing a uniform? Mmm .. thanks for giving good advice to Asep," I said.

"I was in WA the same school principal was told to wear a uniform today hahahahha .... Yes, ma'am both said my mother hahahah. Never hurt a woman, he said. His words were so stuck in the brain, even though I had been hurt by women," Umar replied with a smile.

"Acetinated? Halah, where maybe a handsome guy like Mr. Umar was hurt, usually a handsome guy like sickenin."

"Finally, ngakuin also I handsome hahahaha ...."

Come on, wrong talk! Oh, that's it, whatever! Ignore, Ning! Ignore it!

"Yes, beautiful timing," I returned to play eyes evading her gaze.

"Thank God, this is hehehe .... I was hurt, Mom. The woman I was dating from High School cheated on after she decided to go to college in Jogya. At first we decided to go to college together, but I changed my mind and we had a long distance relationship. It turned out that he could not afford to have a long-distance relationship and cheat. Since then, I've been engrossed in myself."

Umar's gaze was now empty. The view is far ahead. Then, looking at the clouds that gathered like a huge lump of cotton.

"Traumakah?" Suddenly the word was in my mind.

"Hahaha .. no, just haven't found the right fit with my heart and I'm too engrossed in my own world. As of now, I'm into trail bikes,"

Suddenly I remembered Haikal. His face was always in both eyes. Her warm smile was still etched into the brain. If only he had known, how painful it was to be betrayed ....

"I'm sorry, sir," I said to myself.

Schools are getting crowded. The sound of children breaking and boisterous earthy bells ringing. However, this self actually feels very lonely, my soul languishes because of love. He was there ... never knew what I was feeling now!

***

School hours passed half an hour ago. However, the atmosphere of the office was rowdy by Bu Rina. The woman always sought Umar's attention. Moreover, now he has repeatedly offered Umar sponge cake that he recognizes as his creation.

I'm not sure myself. The cake was really made. Last I heard when he was chatting with Ms. Fatma, he admitted he couldn't make a cake. Could he learn fast?

"Accoland ...." Mr. Kanto appeared on the door leaf.

"Waalaikum greetings," We all compactly replied.

"I'm sorry, make it all a long wait. My business just finished. Let's start the meeting right away. We use the third classroom only," said Mr. Kanto made us all move to bring stationery and follow the steps of Mr. Kanto who quickly.

The third classroom is the closest room to the teacher's office. This class under Mother Euis' guidance looks very neat. Pictures of hero figures adorn the top of the wall. Also, student-made calligraphy is displayed in every corner of the classroom.

Deftly we all arranged the chairs and tables to form a circle. Then, sit facing each other. Mr. Ron was sitting next to me, while Umar was sitting right next to Ms. Rina. However, Umar was right to sit opposite to this self, so that his facial expression could still be clearly seen.

The meeting began, only the voice of Mr. Kanto filled the room. We talk if asked the rest just be quiet and be a good listener. Then, the hands will be busy recording things that are considered important.

"So, from Saturday tomorrow there will be no more teaching activities. However, Saturdays are specifically used for exculpation activities. There are five core activities, namely scouting, sports, learning the Quran, language, and art. The activity can be developed again according to the ability of the Father and the Teacher. Anybody want to ask?" said Mr. Kanto.

"So, Saturday's there's activity tomorrow, sir? Wasn't that sudden impressed considering it's already Thursday?" sahut Bu Fatma's.

"Yes, there's activity. So, it's Saturday tomorrow. For the activities just introduction first, now please share what exckul what would be developed and who the teacher who will be the coach and companion."

"How about Saturday tomorrow we just make a walk, sir?" reply Umar.

"Maybe, for introduction. But, yeah, it's up to the others."

We quickly agreed to Umar's suggestion. There are only two reasons, namely, Umar's advice is very good or we want to go home quickly. I think the last guess is the closest to the truth.

How not, the wall clock has moved to 14:50 near the Ashar prayer time. The jaded hue was so emanated from our faces the chalk porter that now began to be replaced by a marker. However, the fate as an honorary is still not clear.

"Yes, our meeting ends yes, because everyone agrees. So, Saturday we will make a walk. Please inform all students to wear sports clothes!" Mr. Kanto ended the meeting and was greeted with a grateful face by all of us.

Ah, really this self misses my soft mattress. Be patient, Ning in a moment I will definitely hug the bolster. Wait for the bolster, I'll be here soon!

***

Arriving home, Mom greeted me with a smile on the porch. It's weird, usually you're always busy in the house. But now he seems to be waiting for me intentionally.

"Ning, you're finally home too!" mother said after I stopped my bike.

"What's up, Mom?" I approached and kissed his back.

"To the market yuk, Ning! I'm gonna buy a new shirt."

"New clothes? What's it for, Mom?" I was surprised to remember that I rarely buy new clothes.

Usually only once Mother buys clothes in a year, which is when approaching Lebaran. However, even now Lebaran is still quite long. It's still about two months away. So why did you buy clothes?

"Make what, Mom?" I sat next to him after taking off my shoes.

"Make Lebaran, Ning."

"Fasting's still two weeks away, ma'am."

"Yes, it's okay. If during a full market fasting the same people. Anyway, if you are afraid not to have time, Ning. Hey ah, Anterin Mommy!"

"Yes, wait. Ning change clothes first,"

"Don't change clothes, just keep your bags! You're praying, right?"

"Already, Mom. But, Ning hasn't paid, either, Mom."

"Mom has money, just relax. Come on!" mother's reply made me want to not obey her.

Mom has quickly caught up on the bike. Eliminate the dream of wanting to immediately embrace the bolster. Along the way, Mom was very cheerful. So much he told me.

"Mom's going to buy a white dress, Ning. White veil, white pants, just white, Ning. I don't have one."

"Yes, Mom."

"Oiya, we go to Tambun Market aja yes, I want to stop by Ncing Konah's house. I haven't played in a long time" I asked her to mention her cousin's sister.

"Quiet, I've allowed it. No, we'll just buy a little shirt, play for a little while. I'm afraid I can't play anymore."

"Yes," I replied.

His arrival at the market Mother immediately took me to the second floor. On this floor is a clothing store. But I don't know what you're looking for. The original plan was to look for white clothes, it turned out to be a choice of light brown kaftan clothes and an instant white veil with a lot of roncean in the hat.

"Ning, this is a dress for you yes, the same color as Mom, but I have a younger mother." Mom showed me a brown tunic.

"No need, Mom. Later, Ning bought it herself," I stared back at the long tunic that was able to close my snoring.

"Son, nothing, Ning. When else, while I can buy it. It's your own money, I can cuss. Want huh?"

"Yes, Mom."

Mom's face was shining. Then, with the spirit of paying for his groceries. Then, with a smile holding my hand to the motor park.

"Why not buy the white shirt, Mom?" I asked while giving the helmet to Mom.

"Nobody I like, I won't wear." Mom locks the helmet strap until it clicks. "We're going straight to Ncing's house huh, Ning." Mom patted my shoulder gently after cupping on the bike.

"Yes, Mom," I drove back to Ncing Konah's house not far from Tambun Station.

Finally, my motorbike stopped right in a pink house. This house has changed a lot. Previously in front of him there was still a guava tree, but now the yard has been coated with paving blocks and beside it lined with rented.

Mom said hello to the house whose door was wide open. However, I don't know where the residents are hiding. There was only the sound of television echoing in the sidelines of the room.

"Waalaikum salam," the voice of the woman in the house returned after the mother three times said the greeting.

"O Allah, by whom! Sit down, Mpok, Ningsih! O Allah, wait a moment, "Ncing Konah appeared from inside his house and rushed in again.

Mom and I sat on the sofa on the porch. Not long after, Ncing Konah came out carrying two glasses of mineral water and cookie setoples on a tray. Then, quickly put everything on the table.

"Udah, don't bother," Mother asked.

"Repot what the fuck, people just water doang. O Allah, it's like a dream late in the afternoon, Mpok!" ncing Konah hugged Mom.

"Yes, all the markets stopped by."

"Well, big brother huh?"

"No, just want to buy clothes for Lebaran." Mom showed off her Lebaran clothes.

"Lah, the Mpok, fast ge belom already bought Lebaran clothes. Yes, Mpok saucy! My ge recipe.

"Bagen, napa. Anyway, at most ntar nih, clothes for you, well."

"Well, what is it?" Ncing looked confused including me.

"Udah usual 'shirt the cave nurun to you," replied Mother calmly.

"Yes, hehe ...." Ncing's face was suddenly embarrassed.

Ncing Konah was still the same, her body still remained thin as it used to be. Her hair was always short. Daster is still her mainstay clothes at home.

The wind blows slowly. However, there were no more swaying leaves. Only a residential advertising poster at the end of the road moving signifies that there is a wind that has just blown.

We dissolve in familiarity. However, not for long, as time continued to roll by quickly. At 17:00 Mom asked for a home permit and was heavily approved by Ncing Konah who was still alone at home. Her son and husband are still busy working in the factory and will only return home tonight.

"Be careful, Ning bring the bike!" ncing Konah's Message.

"Yes, Ncing, take a break. Assalamualaikum," I replied and launched the bike.

I heard Ncing Konah softly return my greetings. But this self has gone away from him. Now my motorbike drove past the Juang 45 Tambun Building.

The twilight began to creep. Thousands of bats began to emerge from the top of the 45 Tambun Juang Building. Buildings that are relics of Chinese landlords always give the impression of antique. The building is still very sturdy and has not changed much. Just a few improvements that make it look better.

White color dominates the walls and ornaments. Meanwhile, poles, doors, windows, and roofs are dominated by dark brown wood. Meanwhile, the architectural style has a style that is very attentive to ornamentation details.

The building is similar to a luxury house in its time, in line with the many museums in the Old City. The building consists of two floors with many windows and main doors. The page is very broad and beautiful. Behind and beside the building of the Juang Building, rows of old houses and warehouses are now converted as fire offices and puskesmas laboratories.

Right in the main courtyard there is a relief. The relief tells the early days of Bekasi and the struggle of Bekasi people during independence. The relief is shaped like a monument without a peak surrounded by a black base image and surrounded by a chain of barriers so as not to be damaged by visitors.

The thing that has always been interesting to me is the top of the mountain-shaped Juang Building. At the top there are thousands of bats that live and will come out at dusk to find food. Then, they would return in the morning to rest.

I don't know, since when did the bat live on top of the Juang Building. Mother herself does not know, even how much exactly you can not be sure. They were very numerous and always filled the twilight sky with black silhouettes flowing in the sky.

As a child, I tried to wait for them to come out of the building. However, I failed. In fact, when Magrib's azan reverberated they still did not finish filling the sky. Thousands of bats are still trying to get out of the sidelines of the window of the Juang Building.

Never imagined how many they were. Probably more than thousands. I don't know, that black, winged animal with sharp teeth is really a lot. Thus, I did not manage to find the end of the path they made when dusk came.

"Ning, this will be the clothes you wear!" pinta Mom after reaching home.

The sky is dark and soon the torment of Magrib will surely reverberate. I just nodded in response to Mom's request. But my mother did not seem to want to come in. She ran to see Nana's mother go home.

Nana's mother was our neighbor who worked as a domestic assistant. The employer is the owner of a shophouse in Tanah Abang. So, almost every week Ibu Nana comes home with merchandise that she will sell on credit or cash. I don't know why Mom ran to see him.

"Where are you going?" my yelling.

"Stay, Ning!" mother replied, but her face ignored me.

This self also chose to go into the room and open the phone that had been left at home. Then, my finger nimbly opened the quota-capitalized messaging application. Dozens of messages entered non-stop after my data was activated.

One by one I patiently read the incoming message until the name Haikal appeared. A message from Haikal made this heart suddenly stop beating. The fingers seemed stiff, the thumb fingers were originally so agile pressing the screen, suddenly confused.

This self is silent, thousands of air scrambling into the lungs. However, it makes it crowded, because too much dirty air comes in. I was between curious and wanting to ignore the message. However, it turns out that curiosity is far superior and makes me open the message as well.

Sorry, I just got back your message. Sorry, for long-simmering. Can I call you now?

Heart slashed. I've been used to saying sorry lately. Now, what if his apologies don't rattle this heart at all?

I try to ignore the message. However, again curious too strong enthroned. Should I return the message?

"Ning" called Mom at the door of my room and then she sat on the bed sliding my phone.

"Yes, Mom."

"Mother finished messaging white veil with Nana's mother. She was showing her picture at HP, good, Ning. The hood is plain white." Mom was so excited to tell me, but my brain was thinking about something else. Haikal!

"Yes, Mom, just order. Later, let Ning pay,"

"Here you go, I pay. Just wait for the goods to arrive,"

"Oh, that's it, "I'm not excited."

"Ning, it's azan. Come, salad!" ask Mom to pat my thigh gently and pass from me.

After the completion of the prayer. I looked back at the phone. Again Haikal filled the brain. Finally, I replied to his message briefly 'yes'.

I looked at the phone without a trace. Then, make sure my short message has been received. However, he has not yet read the message he sent himself . Where else is he?

My phone finally sounded. Fifteen minutes after the message was sent. With a little hesitation I answered his phone.

"I'm sorry, Ning. I know I'm wrong."

"Then?"

"Ning, I'm khilaf. This is not what I want. Things that force me like this. I love you so much, but I just feel distance is playing us. That woman is nobody. He's just my office mate. He liked me for a long time, but I never accepted it. Because, I have you."

"The Khilaf? Are you aware of what you are saying? You said this didn't want you? Then where have you been all this time?"

"Ning, I beg you. I want us to get married, she's nobody. He just set me up!"

Trapped up? Whatdoes thatmean? Why did that man become so annoying!

"Mang,"

Haikal called me back. However, I mute. Then, letting the quiet quietly slip between us.

"Don't call me first huh" I said after a long silence.

"What do you mean, Ning?"

"I don't know if you're being honest or lying to me anymore."

"Then, how should I make you believe?"

"I don't know, only you know the answer. I can't be in a relationship with a lie. Yes, I want to rest."

I hung up Haikal's phone and cried in silence. I don't know if everything you say is the best. I feel so wrong. Shortness of binding the body and make the night very cold.

***

Saturday has come, the school grounds are suddenly colorful in tune with different-colored sports uniforms every year. All the students from first to sixth grade had gathered in the school grounds. They seemed impatient to wait for the cue to be dispatched. Only the drinking water bottles they brought for supplies.

"Well, today we're all going to do some walking. The route we will go is from the school to Sasak Mare Suspension Bridge. Later, we take a short break, then go back to school. It will pass Sasak Mare, considering the number of us all a lot. So, take turns!" said Umar gave direction and approved by all students and teachers.

Slowly, steps were heard. Occasional laughter was heard from the students. The air is still cold. The bamboo trees lined up along the street seemed to be waving affectionately at us.

The paddy field started yellowing as if smiling resplendently. The increasingly downed rice rolls are like giving respect to educated people. I salute the earth through the gaping red soil given seeds, may one day superior plants be able to be picked.

The voice of the commanding chant is now our step-companion. The activities of the citizens herding livestock, farming, and shouldering grass on the head became our spectacle. Instead, we became a free spectacle of citizens.

Upon arrival at the suspension bridge, this heart thumped. The swaying bridge made nyaliku squeak. This face was deathly pale, sweat started dripping without me noticing.

"Mom? Let ... All the students have stepped up, only Mom and now I are left behind." Umar caught up with me who was stopped at the end of the bridge.

Umar. Meanwhile, all the teachers were already in front of accompanying all the students. Now, Umar was right in front of me and only one step away.

My God, he must know by now how bad this face is! I tried to cover. However, the green bridge made of bamboo was as tempting as it was. Rows of bamboo that bejejer into the footing of the bridge as if laughing at me.

The river water under the bridge was flowing quietly as if watching me from below. Meanwhile, the bamboo leaves dangling at the end of the bridge were like cheerleaders. They were boisterous, encouraging me.

"Don't be afraid I will accompany you, walk beside me, I won't leave you .." Umar added.

Umar said softly. His eyes were very shady. How could he make this heartbeat start to calm down?

Fasting ge belom \= has not yet been fasting

Cakep\= nice

My ge recipes\= I also like

Bagen\= let it go (not why)

Nurun\= down (inherited)