SYAHDU (Contract Sleep Friends)

A Story That May End

Still vividly remembered your warm embrace as if all was impossible to disappear

Now only the memories you have left behind, there is no time left together...

Why is there still some flavor in the chest, when you just leave.

Can I hold on without you, baby.

God, please miss him...

*

Arga scanned his fingerprints on the door handle, making a noise and the door opened. He was greeted by a white-haired dog named Popi.

"Kangen, huh?" Arga smiled, he held a small dog whose body was already a little bigger than the last Syahdu lived first.

Ah, Syahdu...

Every time he went to this apartment, Arga remembered all clearly how the first time Syahdu was present, also the last time he left this place. It's still very clear in Arga's memory. But now the apartment that he had once gifted to Syahdu, he no longer occupied. He did not want the fragrance and beauty of Syahdu to disappear. Especially in that bed.

"You miss him, don't you?" Ask Arga on Popi. Or maybe Popi has forgotten it? Arga smiled bitterly. Then he put the Popi back and walked towards the closet followed by the little dog from behind.

Arga opens the closet. His eyes scanned one by one the clothes inside. He took the Syahdu dress that night, whose middle was torn because of his own actions. Although the shirt no longer stores the scent of Syahdu perfume, but he still likes the rest of the aroma there.

"Harumny.." Arga closed his eyes as he smelled a black cloth that had a distinctive aroma on Arga's nose.Memories of that night came back vividly to his head. Makes him feel all over his body which is now bristling

Actually Arga did not come to remember Syahdu. He wants to bring Popi. But because this is the place where the most inherent memories, he certainly remembered Syahdu.

"Popi, you know, people commented saying I was depressed. Hhhh.." Arga laughed bitterly. Just because he is waiting for someone in his life, many consider it excessive and need to come to a psychologist.

"I realize what I'm doing now. This is not my wish. But feelings. The feelings I can't handle that make me gini rich." Arga again took the tip of the dress, smelling its scent.

"I don't know until when. But maybe this is the end line. If you arrive this year Syahdu does not appear, I have to realize my feelings if he does not really have any feelings for me."

Arga looked at Popi who was under his feet. The little tail swayed, and Arga carried it.

"You heard it, Popi. If he doesn't come, I have to change. Everybody said that. I have to change for my long future." Arga involuntarily shed tears. He smiled at Popi who seemed to understand his feelings.

He's holding Popi. What has been trending lately has made him moved to change. Many people have advised him to move on. Seven years is not a short time to wait for someone. If during that time even the person never showed up, it was certain that he did not care about Arga. And the harsh reality is what makes Arga sad, because the wait as long as it has to stop later.

Arga, a man who had always looked strong and cold, was very big and had to be saved immediately. Given the headline that made Arga chuckle, even though he knew, it was true.

...🍁...

Nani opens the door. He looked for Shahdu on the terrace, but there was none. Where's the kid going? Syahdu was never like this. Nani knows that gentle girl. He's not going anywhere.

"Mother, it's Brother Syahdu!" Dance pointing to the top of a small hill. From a distance, Dari can see as black as the top of the hill sitting alone there, just below the bright moon.

"Dance, same Adit here, yeah. Mother wants to follow Brother Syahdu."

"Dance, mother at home. It's cold, it's night-night too. Your mother will be sick."

"Mother. You're in, yeah."

Nani walked out. He knew something was wrong with Syahdu these two days. It is also what makes Syahdu in the hills of these nights. Nani knows that.

Slowly Nani went up the hill. He saw Syahdu turning his back while looking down.

"Shahdu.."

The girl hastily wiped away her tears when Nani arrived. But too late, Nani already knew Syahdu was crying.

Nani sits next to Syahdu. In the girl's hand was a box that Syahdu had brought first come here.

Nani did not ask, he let Syahdu sob.

"Mother.." The raucous voice made Nani sad.

Syahdu handed over a photograph to Nani. A picture of him and his friends on a hill. His hand pointed at one man standing behind him and the man looked at Shahdu.

"He's a Tortoise?" Tanya Nani, and Syahdu shook his head slowly.

Syahdu wiped away her tears. He tried to calm his feelings before telling a story.

"There are things that Syahdu never told mother."

Nani was silent, waiting for Syahdu to finish his sentence.

"He's Arga, contract bedmate."

Nani frowned. What Syahdu meant, he did not understand.

"Before Syahdu story, Syahdu please.do not judge Syahdu, do not hate Syahdu, do not remove Syahdu from here." Pinta the girl with an almost inaudible voice. His eyes were hoping that Nani would obey him just this time.

Nani nodded. "You're a mother's son, son. Mother couldn't have done that."

Syahdu knew, that's why he dared to tell a story that no one knew.

Syahdu exhaled. He pitched his face against the black sky, beginning to roll back the memory seven years ago.

Arga, he is the man who appeared in his life suddenly when the Shahdu road almost to the abyss. Arga reached out his hand, helping him to ease the burden. But even the man took him almost to the edge of the abyss.

Syahdu told Nani everything, everything without her covering up. About Arga, Wicak, also what the third relationship. Many times he wiped away the tears that were shed. Syahdu wants him to be free from his current problems. He wanted to release the burden in his heart that had been stored for a long time. He wants to have a good day here. He wants the tightness in his chest gone. He no longer wanted bad memories and the past to make him curse his stupidity again.

"And strangely, this indescribable mixed feeling appeared again. But Syahdu doesn't know what to do, Mother.." Syahdu. He covered his face with both hands.

Nani was silent for a moment, looking at the shoulder that was shaking from the sadness. Actually since the beginning of the appearance of Syahdu in this village is quite exciting, plus a baby boy suddenly appeared two days after he was here, making the villagers had thought that it was the son of Syahdu.

Then, six years ago, there was also news that Syahdu went to the village midwife to remove the contraceptive in her womb. It certainly makes Nani begin to suspect who the figure of Syahdu actually, although he did not think it too deep because he could feel Syahdu is a good girl. After that, Nani was the one who kept trying to cover up the village rumors without the knowledge of Syahdu.

Nani also often saw Syahdu crying at the beginning of his presence. Even the sleeping girl was not calm. Almost every night Syahdu cried in sleep, not infrequently he shed tears when asleep. Until Nani must harbor curiosity so that Syahdu feels comfortable in his home.

Then after hearing all this, he understood, he understood what had happened to the girl all along.

"Shahdu.." Nani stroked the girl's shoulder.

"Do you not realize, son, that Wicak already knows you like other men."

Syahdu raised his face. Obviously he was surprised by Nani's words.

"Are there any signs that make Wicak change to show his love? All because he realized, you started to fall in love with other men. But you're not aware of that."

Syahdu silently looked at Nani's face, but his tears did not stop flowing. What did Nani say? Is that really so? But.. Nani is right about Wicak who changed more to show his love. Even Wicak often suddenly hugged her, asking her not to leave him. Syahdu thought it was because Wicak knew the rest of his life. Turns out...

"Since you've been having sex and getting Arga's attention, you've unconsciously liked her, son. You do not feel uncomfortable and hate on Arga even though you know he has used you. Aye, right? That pattern that you weren't aware of, but Wicak realized it."

Syahdu listened with eyes that had not blinked since. Is that really what Nani said?

"Then you feel for Wicak, it's because you're used to it. In your heart is already imprinted, that a good man and suitable to be made a companion is like Wicak. Because that's what makes you unaware of Arga's existence clearly."

"From all of that, it was actually Wicak who had extraordinary feelings. He sacrificed everything to get you. So that he can live with a lover he has loved for a long time. His supreme love, he sees you as if he is seeing yourself because he has united you in his life, in his love. He feels you and himself are one breath."

Nani's explanation made Syahdu hold his breath. His chest tightened when he remembered Wicak. Does he really love other men? Even though until now Wicak still makes him sad.

"One more, son. Your memory of Wicak is not out of love anymore. But because of the great regret and guilt. Because that's it, you ran here? The village that Wicak wants you to come to?"

Syahdu fell silent, he could not answer that because the guilt feelings for Wicak and Arga now appeared together. He felt very sorry for everything that happened. On Wicak, or Arga...

TB

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