Sakinah to Jannah (New Version)

Making Peace with Past Wounds

Forgiveness is Best Win ~ Ali Bin Abi Thalib

This afternoon Syfa sat on the balcony of her room, her gaze staring at the clear blue sky. But this afternoon's mood was contrary to his heart.

Sometimes he breathes heavily. It was hard to accept everything, when his heart wanted what, but circumstances forced him how. Syfa recalled last night, when she had just returned from her weekly routine.

The flashback

"Well, this is Syfa coming home, let's go, sit down first" Mama said, as she walked into the living room. Syfa saw Mama sitting with Rendi there, making her face instantly change implying annoyance. "Fa, Rendi is here to have a serious conversation with you, you met first huh?" said Mama again who stood beside Syfa, then went inside leaving them both. Syfa let out a rough sigh, and sat down on a chair away from Rendi.

"Can't you? make me not bother you?" he said fiercely, Rendi sighed for a moment to regulate his emotions so as not to be provoked, He tried to remind himself of his intention to invite Syfa back.

"Fa, i....."

"What else?!" cut out Syfa, try to control her voice so it doesn't get heard by Mama.

"You, right, the one that left me? now what else?"

"With me first, I want to explain the fa.." said Rendi pleaded, saying,

"You want to take me back, don't you? it's not clear what I said yesterday?!"

Rendi was silent, her eyes were fixed on Syfa, honestly she did not know what else to do, she said,

"Denger to ren?! our relationship is over, I don't want to date either, so don't disturb my life anymore! go as far as possible, and never come back!" he said half-stomping, He was still trying to control his voice so that it was not heard by Mama.

"What do you want? The marriage? Come on, I'm ready," challenge Rendi, making Syfa smile cynically, she said,

"That's lust? or ambition? not only do you marry *******!!!" reply Syfa fierce. In his heart he really beristighfar because he can not control his emotions at this time.

"Fa, I beg you to give me a chance to say, I want to explain everything first to you," said Rendi pleading, He shifted to approach Syfa. Making Syfa look at him sharply,

"Yes-yes, sorry," said Rendi as she shifted back away from Syfa. He understood very well the present Syfa, who was so self-limiting to men.

"Whenever you ask me to come back, I can't. There are things that I can't do." said Syfa slowly, He tried to hold back his tears so as not to drip in front of Rendi.

"Fa, when we're still dating, we often break up. Because of that, you once said we were fools. You're always sure, no matter how far we're apart, it'll come back. And now I'm back fa, I'm your soul mate, I'm God's destined for you." said Rendi half-begging. Syfa smiled cynically at Rendi's explanation which she thought was too confident.

"Destiny determines God, not you. If I die tomorrow how?"

"What the hell are you talking about Fa?" Rendi was inexhaustible with Syfa's words, which he said digress it.

"Fool, Sustenance, Death, it is in the Hands of God. We don't know which one comes our way first. You are not God, and you cannot determine 1 of them." Syfa answered, then went inside leaving Rendi, who was still silent looking at her.

Flashback off

"Astagfirullah Syfa...!" pekik Mbak Mala who stood beside Syfa, while nudging Syfa's arm. Syfa gasped in shock, and turned to Madam Mala who was standing next to him.

"Mr Mala, budar huh? Syfa prayed first." said to Ma'am Mala, who sat on the balcony of her room, then rushed to the bathroom to take ablution and established the ashar prayer. Madam Mala just bobbed her head looking at it.

***

"Where are the fa?" Mala looked to think. Syfa has recounted last night's incident to Ms. Mala. Honestly, at this time, he was confused as to how. "But, anti-real no feeling the same as Rendi? just a little bit of that?" ask Mbak Mala make sure. Syfa sighed, "Although there are, many things that make you can't come back the same as she Mommy."

"What?"

"meaning?"

"Yes, what makes the anti can't go back with Rendi?"

Syfa was silent for a moment.

"Syfa hates him, Ma'am," he lamented later, making Mbak Mala smile. Mala Mbak knows, although in the process of hijrah, Syfa is still often unstable in dealing with problems, especially problems with his ex one.

"Fa, what's wrong with making peace with the past?" mala Mbak's advice, making Syfa frown in wonder staring at Mbak Mala. "That's what Mala's mother, Syfa I'm sorryin Rendi is?" ask Syfa to make sure. Mala's mother nodded, "Sorry to him, after all it is not good to be angry with people for a long time," "Trus want to do it, invited back?" Mala's mother shook her head strongly, "I'm sorry, it doesn't mean you have to turn back, you can be friends," advised Mbak Mala. Syfa fell silent trying to digest Mbak Mala's remarks.

"Fa, want this hadith?

Whoever forgives when he is able to repay, Allah will forgive him on the day of trouble. (CHR. Bays - Thabrani)

Try to make peace with the past. Ana did not say easy, at least every day, try to let go of the hatred that is in the heart of anti. Inget the Fa? just forgiving, does not mean having to reverse." said Mala, making Syfa smile thinly.

Am I capable?

***

"Sister Gilang..!" call Lisa from the back door of Gilang's house, while walking quickly to her. Gilang who was relaxing sitting in the gazebo behind his house turned his head. "Sister, what's the same Lisa story?" lisa's murmur was upset, Gilang frowned in surprise, "What's the story of the deck?" tanyanya's confused. "Sister broke up with Citra, right?"

Deg !

"Do you know from whom?"

"Kak Citra yesterday met me, he's the way a-a-boy, I asked him if he was ready, he said it's the guy." explained Lisa, making Gilang's face instantly changed, holding back emotions. It must be that man, who else if not the man he met a few days ago. Apparently Citra was right to have a special relationship with the man.

"What patience, brother?" lisa suddenly said. She looked at him, smiling. "Well, girls aren't her, are they?" replied Gilang trying to entertain himself and Lisa. His words were contrary to his heart.

Honestly until now He still has difficulty forgiving the image. How not? Gilang already wants to plan to apply for Citra in the near future. But over the past week, his attitude has changed. Made Gilang suspicious, and slightly resigned his plan. In the end He was grateful, God told him first, how the girl really is.

"Sir, by the way yes, Brother what the hell, nelfon Lisa malem-malem just nanyain ukhti Syfa? You know me, same with Syfa?" ask Lisa suddenly.

Gilang again condemned his stupidity. He forgot, even in a semi-conscious state when he woke up, his cousin's sister had a strong memory.