My husband's Intel

Ch 2 - The Shadow of the Past That Cannot Be Lost

POV Written by ErKa

Going to his house was the right decision, even though I had to swallow a bitter pill afterwards.

Yes, I found out that she was engaged to someone else!!

I still remember clearly that day. The weather is drizzling. It may be a sign that soon my heart will be like that.

Riding a white beat, I rode the streets. Passing highways or small streets. Our house is only 7 kilometers away, so it didn't take long for me to reach it.

I haven't been officially introduced yet, but there was a moment when I met his family. It was graduation moment.

At that moment, he introduced me as a close friend. His family looks ordinary. Not very wellcome or outright reject me. Really acting I was just a girlfriend of her son.

Going to his house like this was my first experience. I've known his home address for a long time. Several times deliberately passing through the house while thinking, when can I enter this house? What a stupid thought!!

In my imagination, he took me to his house. Introduced me to both parents. Her family accepted me happily and decided to formalize our relationship.

But in reality, I went to his house alone. Quite shameless and degrading self-esteem. All I did was to know the news and the clarity of our relationship status.

Kupandangi green painted house with ancient but beautiful nuances. There are many ornamental plants in front of him, so it makes anyone who sees.

The door of the house opened, indicating that there was someone inside. I swallowed with great difficulty. The heart begins to beat irregularly. I hope to meet him, not his family, so that we can discuss this matter together.

After nearly fifteen minutes of silence and pondering, I forced myself to squeeze the bell attached to the fence.

Courage shrinks. I want to get away and let this go. Suddenly I became a coward.

I was just about to leave when I saw a middle-aged woman wearing a negligee and an instant hooded out of the house. The woman saw me already. I can't avoid it anymore. That woman is his mother.

He opened the fence and looked at me with a wondering look.

"Who are you looking for?" tanyakanya. His look was like stripping me. Staring at me from the end of my foot to the end of my head. Valuing me.

Getting a look like that makes me very nervous. At that time I was wearing a beige blouse combined with matching cloth pants. Hair curled neatly. I look like someone who's going to do a job interview. I think it's pretty neat and formal.

"Em, I'm a friend of Son Ma'am. Son exist?"

"Oh, his friend Putra. He out. Let's go in first. Wait inside." It seems he doesn't remember me. The proof is that he looks relieved to know I'm a friend of his son.

I want to refuse. It would be very awkward to be alone with him. But he kept pushing until I decided to follow his advice.

He told me to wait in the living room. I sat in the room with mixed feelings. I don't know why I feel like I'm going to be interviewed by a prospective in-law.

Seven minutes later he came back to see me with mineral water and some snack jars. He has changed into a dress.

"Give him a snack" he said as he put the water and snack on the table. Then he sat in front of me, watching me with interest.

"What's your name, son?"

"Ah, my name is Dira, ma'am."

"Say the son. What school friends are in college?"

"Tuition buddies, Mom." The interview really has begun.

"Oh, one major?"

"Yes, Mom ...."

"Where's the job now?" A question I've heard a lot since I graduated from college.

"Still not yet Ms ...."

"Oh, not yet. Graduated in what year?"

"20."

"Together with the Son. Why haven't you got a job yet, son? My son is PNS now." The proud tone sounded very clear. It is natural that parents are proud of their children's achievements, but do not let that pride humble the children of others.

"Yes Ma'am, I plan to take the CPNS test again next year. For now still at home, help the parents ...."

"What do your parents do?"

"Pensioner father of telkom. If it's mom, the usual housewife."

"Oh, I'm retired." He's mangosteen. "If the father of the Son of PNS. Alhamdulillah now the Son follows in his father's footsteps." Again tucked a sense of pride and accentuate themselves in that tone of voice. I could only be silent, confused as to what to respond to.

"Oh, t-no business is so important ma'am. S-I just want to know the news, because it's been lost contact long enough ...."

"Lho, you don't have an invitation yet?"

DEG

Instantly my stomach became heartburn. There was a sense of dizziness swirling around and wanting to vomit. My feelings are really bad. I seem to understand where this conversation leads, but I try to brush it off. I keep thinking positive. Perhaps what is meant by invitation is an invitation to tasyakuran.

"B-yet Mum ...."

"Son will get married mid-next month. Now he and my man are out to fit the clothes and order the building. Thank God I am also PNS. At least their lives will be good in the future. Hold on, I'll get the invitation first. Wait a minute." Without waiting for an answer, he entered the room. Looks like taking the invitation.

The words were like lightning in broad daylight. Slapped me so hard that my brain couldn't think anymore. My head feels empty. Only the words 'Married son' kept ringing.

I can't quite remember how I got out of that house and rode a motorcycle in the middle of the drizzle that had turned into heavy rain.

My tears merge into one with raindrops. Makes me powerless to hold back and vent all sorrow.

My chest is tight and tight. It was as if there was a huge rock tilling over. Makes me have trouble breathing.

I decided to stop on the shoulder of the road. Park the bike there and cry on the side of the road.

"Aackhhh!!" As tight!! So crowded!! Why is this so painful?! Like there were thousands of daggers being stabbed?! It hurts!! So sick!!

The betrayal of the Son incised a deep wound. It's not easy for me to accept a man in life. If I decide to accept it, it means I have judged it and decided he is the best.

Unexpectedly, I had misjudged. He went with another woman!! Left me!! Why would he do that?!! Is it because I am less beautiful?! Is it because my father is only a retired man?! Is it because I am unemployed?! Is it because I'm not a PNS?! Why?!!

The wound was so deep. The pain was felt all the way to the bone marrow. I'm not sure that wound will be healed. And it was proven. Even when the incident had passed many years ago, the wound remained. Can't be lost.

The attitude of the Son like that makes me a different person. I no longer trust men. Closing yourself to the world. The sense of inferiority grows bigger. I feel like I am not worthy of anyone.

There were some who tried to get closer, but I drove them away. I drowned myself in a hobby that made me even more excited. That's writing.

My halo world is getting wild. I've built perfect men I can't see in the real world. Wish I could be with them. The more perfect the character, making me less interested in real characters. That's one of the reasons why I'm still not married at 27.

***

I tried to forget the unpleasant incident at the stall this morning. Tonight I want to surf in the world of literacy and cyberspace.

I understand my habits. When I walk into my room and open my laptop, nothing can interfere.

Mother never disputed my status according to unemployed people or spinsters. He supports whatever decision I make about the future, as long as it's positive.

He knew that my hobby had become a money-making job. Not that I want to boast, but I have been able to prove that this hobby is not nonsense.

With this hobby, I have helped Rara's wedding expenses and many other things. I want to be proud, but what? Enough family knows.

Tonight I'm so busy playing sosmed. Actually not just playing around, but there is a mission that I have to complete, which is to reply to every message that comes in.

Every day there are hundreds of messages coming in on my social media app. It is a pride and satisfaction if you can reply to each of these messages.

I'm an online novelist. Starting from the fad, I posted posts on the online platform. There was fear and lack of confidence, but I was still brave. And amazingly, my writing is quite accepted by readers. In fact, you could say, they like it. It makes me so excited. Until I finally decided to make it a job.

Having a writing that readers love is enough to make me have a busy life. In addition to busy writing, I am also quite busy replying to incoming messages. The more messages that came, the more pleased I was. That means the enthusiasm of the reader is getting bigger.

After completing the episode to be published, I started surfing all social media. Routine activities that I happily pursue, reply to every message that enters him social that I have. Be it Whats App, Facebook, Messenger to Instagram and start replying to messages from the bottom order.

It took me almost two hours to reply to all those messages. Then I switched to Instagram.

There are dozens of chat that entered, but only half a day the application was not opened. Every time you read a message from a reader, it always creates a warm feeling.

There are different types of readers. There is an urgent type, demanding that the story I made immediately release the latest episode. There are types that always provide support. There is also a type of kepo, asking the next storyline while guessing the ending of the story. And many other types.

I love all my readers. I could feel the sincerity of every message they sent. I can feel their love. Things like that always make me cry. The love I rarely get in my life - I'm an introvert type who rarely has friends in real life, even I get abundantly in the virtual world. How very happy. I really love my readers.

Oh yeah, back to the original story. As I was opening one chat at a time, I arrived at the last chat. Chat at the top itself. The sender has a pretty strange account name. But I didn't bully him. I keep replying to that chat.

Baka_yarou017: good night

***

Happy Reading 🥰