My Beginning and My End

Hardheartedness

This morning it rained. Today is sunday.

After undergoing Saturday with full of crying and with a cloudy night atmosphere.

The week ended with rain.

Perfect for this family feeling.

Ani woke up and stood looking out the window. The rain is not too heavy. But the cloud that covered the sun felt very tight.

Maybe this gemiris rain will last until night.

"Nak is awake" she opened Ani's room with breakfast complete with warm tea.

"Let's have breakfast first, continue to take the medicine immediately".

Ibuk painstakingly treated Ani who looked still pale.

"Bude bude bude," the sound of running feet entered Ani's room.

"Are two budding men sleeping here yes," Ani said when she saw Doni and Dita in her room.

"Yes dong, do we want to menenin bude who is sick again to heal quickly," replied dita who is still 6 years old but has been chatty and likes to make the gleam of people who see it

Dita approached Ani and hugged her spoiled.

"Let's get the kids out first let the bude have breakfast first, " Erna's voice enters Ani's room.

Erna invites her two children to get out of Ani's room so Ani can have breakfast comfortably.

Erna sat on the garden chair while daydreaming. Joko approached and sat next to him.

"Why brother?" ask Joko.

"Where should we start. I can't bear to know his condition now, '" looks restless on Erna's face.

"We have to tell Ani, because she has to fight for her recovery. If we don't talk later how to cure the pain. He should know his condition".

Joko stopped talking because she saw Erna crying.

"What matters is that we're all always on Ani's side. We are always there when we are needed. And always give full support to mbak," continued Joko.

"Let's wipe your tears right away. Don't let Ani see you cry.

We need to get in. My mother and father Ani were waiting. We passed this test together".

Joko took Ani's hand into the house.

"Where are the kids," Erna asked as she sat next to Joko.

"So the bike ride permit. At the most perimeter of the complex, son," answered the mother who was seen sitting next to Ani and holding her hand.

I drank the coffee in front of him and took a deep breath.

He who used to be calm looked nervous.

"How do you want your situation now to feel better?" ask me to look at Ani.

"Alhamdulillah Ani already feels fit again," Ani replied with a light smile.

"Look, there's something important we want to say. I hope you're ready to listen," you look nervous again.

"Yes sir. What's the matter, sir" asked Ani curiously.

"Yesterday the doctor delivered your health results to your sister. So look," the father stopped as if preparing himself.

"So, son, the doctor found your illness. We just try to treat it together. You're not alone. Here is your mother's father who is always there for you". I continued with a nervous voice.

"What the hell is up on tense. What's the pain Ani got?" asked Ani whose heart was getting restless.

"You've been diagnosed with cancer with 3 strokes, son," I finally got to the point.

At that moment everyone was silent. They all looked down no one dared to look at Ani's face.

Ani instantly felt her heart stop for a few seconds.

No tears fell on my cheeks without a sound.

He looked at her and hugged her.

Erna Oun stood up from the chair and hugged Ani.

"Patience to this test all of us" said my mother.

"Erna apologizes for not being able to say when the hospital went down," Erna felt guilty for being silent about it. He was the first to know.

Ani took off all hugs. He looked smiling and said.

"It's okay. You remember you once told Ani. God gave his test according to his ability. And Allah was sure that Ani was able to get through all this. Ani was created stronger than all of you. So don't worry".

Ani smiled and moved from the chair to her room.

Erna will soon follow but is detained by her mother.

"Let your own mother first. He needs time to accept his situation now".

All are silent in silence. Gemiris who from morning accompany feels support this haru atmosphere.

Nature is also sad.

***

Kukuruyuk it...

kukuru...

As usual the neighbor's chicken wakes up in the morning.

Ani was wearing a uniform. He breathed long as if he wanted to talk "i can do it".

" Morning buk," Ani smiled greeting her mother.

"Why are you wearing a uniform? Not that you should permit first, "said ibuk worry.

"It doesn't hurt mom. Ani's body even lethargic if at home continues. There's a lot of responsibility Ani has to do".

"Alright I allow but you have to take good care of yourself. Take medicine and eat on time, "mother gives conditions.

"Ready buk. Now Ani wants to have breakfast and keep nyiapin lunch and medicine for down to school".

After eating, Ani was allowed to go to school.

***

He sees every activity of others when it is used to being seen. But this time it feels different.

Drive at a slow pace and breathe a cool morning. Because it rained all night without stopping so the air feels fresh today.

At school, Ani parked her motorcycle as usual. I saw Zaenal, the security guard approaching him.

"How's Ani's mom doing? "

"Thank you sir, "Ani replied with a smile.

"Thank God then. Yesterday Ani Pinsan ma'am we were all worried because I had never seen ibuk pinsan here" Mr. Zaenal explained.

The heartfelt face of the coworkers made Ani feel happy and excited.

Ani gasped to hear Mr. Zaenal's words. He was willing to go into the teacher's room.

No one knows about Ani's true condition other than her and her family. And surely Allah is the One who gives this test to the servant.

Today, Ani is grateful that there is only one subject. Ani wasn't in too many classes. He only focused on teaching in the 11th grade. Because the foundation knows the responsibilities in the library are so large that the teaching schedule is not too full. And lucky here there are 5 teachers for Indonesian language lessons.

Today the two planned to go to the hospital to confirm his condition.

"Is that verdict right? " Ani felt doubt in her heart.

He hoped the verdict was wrong.

Everything went well. The school situation and the state of his body work well together.

He asked the foundation for permission to return home early.

***

"Sorry Sister whether there is a schedule today for oncologist specialists, "Ani has arrived in front of the receptionist.

"There's ma'am, Mom just went straight to her room to register there huh. From here straight turn left later there is writing that shows the place".

The receptionist showed politely.

" Good thanks sister, "Ani nodded her head in understanding and passed to the place that has been shown.

After registering, Ani must queue in accordance with the order.

In his heart he prayed for the doctor to misdiagnose him.

Ani's turn was called.

"Mother Ani Saswinto please come in, "a familiar-looking young man called Ani.

When Ani enters suddenly she shakes hands and kisses Ani's hand.

Ani was a little surprised.

"Bu Ani I Reyhan ibuk's. I'm now a nurse at the hospital, " said the nurse.

"God I'm sorry it's old so don't remember. You are also an adult if you do not recognize, "Ani said while sitting in front of the doctor to be ready to be examined.

"Well the mother who went down on Saturday yesterday. Here with who? " ask the doctor.

Ani looked around and saw the name of the doctor in her nametag.

"Oh his name is Hendry, "inner Ani.

"I'm here by myself doctor, "Ani replied a little later than her doctor's question.

"How has my mother improved? " ask the doctor, who told him to lie down on the bed so he could be examined.

"Had heard the doctor, " Javan Ani was brief.

"Already ma'am, please sit in the chair again. Ani's mother did not have to worry many patients who suffered the same pain as Ani and they could recover, "the doctor opened the conversation that was waiting for Ani.

"Well, is it true that I have breast cancer? " Ani asked with a confused face.

Doctors are very familiar with the faces of patients like this.

At the beginning of the verdict they all have a face like believe and not.

The doctor smiled sincerely and said "Bu Ani has stage 3 breast cancer. I believe God gives a test to a strong person. And all those people who were waiting in line for me were God's chosen people who God believed could get through all this. And one of them is Bu Ani".

Ani smiled weakly at Doctor Hendry's words.

Ani knew the doctor spoke like that to calm her heart.

But as an ordinary human Ani also had a fear side. He who rarely even permits due to illness suddenly gets a verdict that is never imagined.

"Bu Ani the medicine that was yesterday still there huh. It was drunk first. Here I give you the recipe for the next week so Bu Ani can come back in 2 more weeks for control. I hope that Ms. Ani is diligent in control so that I can also monitor the state of the mother. That's all I can do to help Ani. Bu Ani must also be positive for the health of Bu Ani to remain stable. Because if bu Ani stress it will grow cancer cells quickly. So Miss Ani should have fun. Gurukan likes to joke with his students so youthful, "the explanation of Hendry's doctor together with a joke did not hit Ani's heart at that time.

But Ani smiled to appreciate the efforts of Dr. Hendry.

Ani returned home after being given a letter of control and prescription medication for her.

Reyhan who was outside the room heard their words felt sad because of the state of his idol teacher.

Although famous killer but actually bu Ani kind and sincere to his students.

Reyhan saw Ani walking slowly with pity. The pain felt by Bu Ani must be deep, because people who know him also hear this will feel the pain as well.

Reyhan prayed in his heart that Ani's mother could be steadfast in accepting this test.

***

"Assalamualaikum, "Ani stepped into the house limply.

"Walaikumsalam son, "The father who was in the living room answered.

"Oh, Ani has come to make tea! " the paternag while still in front of the tv watching his favorite news show.

I entered the room with warm tea.

"Not yet, son? " tanya ibuk who saw Ani had changed clothes and was lying on the bed.

"Buk already. Ani had eaten on the road. Ani was tired of wanting to go to sleep immediately, "Ani replied as she sat down to receive her mother's tea.

"Yes you've rested. Don't forget to take the medicine, son, "mother goes after reminding.

Ani looked at the ceiling of her room.

It was as if he saw a vast white cloud and he was there himself.

Finally, with various thoughts Ani fell asleep.