MARRYING DOWN THE BED?

20. Genophobia, Coitophobia, Erotophobia? (a confession)

"Ohh..inii.yes yes, it is quite far here. I know where this is. Why, bang Hari? Brother exhausted to stray like this? Sleepy? I'm sorry, I'm sleeping all the time. What time is it now? Oh, it's almost 1 p.m. It's about to be duly updated. Does bang Hari want to rest here first? Bang Hari probably won't let me change to driving even if I'm good enough to drive. Should we just change it?"

By the heavens, the earth, the entire universe and its contents, I do not want us to change driving. I just want to kiss or at least touch you...

"Evita..."

"All right, just take a little break here."

Simultaneously at the end of this girl's sentence, there was a ringing of HP from inside the female bag on her lap. Very clearly heard. That's the ringtone of the phone call, if not wrong. I've memorized it now.

Drooping a little into her lap, Evita just silenced the sound of the call until it stopped on its own. He looked at me at the time I asked,

"Aren't you lifting?"

"This is a group call, it's just us. If not from my parents, maybe from my sister Lydia or 2. Maybe they'll ask me where I've been."

"Looks Lydia. He's already texted me. Just now. And yes he asked where we were."

"Mmm..bang Day?"

"Hm?"

"As long as we're here, taking a short break.Can I tell you something?"

"You saying something?"

"Nw..."

Evita looks seriously turned in looking at me. Also a hesitant expression continued to talk, clearly visible on the face even though the atmosphere in the car was not so bright, just dimmed by the light from the street lights out there.

"What's up, Evita?"

"Ngg.this might sound surprising for a bang Hari. I actually wanted to start discussing when we were at the hotel but I saw no chance."

"Agravity me?"

"Mmm.I have 2 diary books that have been my diary for the last 3 years."

While saying so Evita turned from me to the bag on her lap which she then lifted and unzipped it.

I continued to pay attention to what he was doing, from inside the bag he took out 2 books as mentioned earlier. Both are indeed like the shape of a diary-sized book half the size of an ordinary notebook. This girl's hand held out the two books before me.

With frowns I received the two books, I noticed a glimpse of the shape of the book and the look on the cover.

"You want me to read your diary? This is your personal diary, Evita.."

"Hm-mhhhh. On top of that, there's a barrier. Try bang Day open in the part I've already capped it."

With the forehead more frown confused to observe Evita diary book in hand, I turn on the lights in the car above the head and then on one of the books that has been marked a plastic book barrier, which is made of plastic, I opened the page in that section. I read the writing there...

"Last noon my mother had sent me a message, it seems like there has been a date entered as our family plan. The dates of his revelations are soon. Mom said it could be in 2 to 4 months. Therefore, I think it's better than now that I tell the bang..."

Evita's voice came to a halt as soon as she found wariness in my face after the writing on the pages of her diary marked I began to read, continuing to read to the next page.

How can I not be surprised by surprise?

The contents of this Evita writing.new page opening course is really unexpected. And then I looked at her with a look that I couldn't believe.

He showed a bitter smile on his lips.

This is hard to digest in logic.

"Is this serious?" I asked, "Evita, you're not trying to prank or test my feelings, are you?"

This girl showed a regretful look on the face, saying with a heavy heart while trying to avoid my probing gaze.

"Jeez, Evita..."

###############

'12 february...

he took another appointment. the day after 14 he really wanted to come home. I have to how?' I don't want to date him.I just want us to be friends.buddy friends because we work in the same office...'

'april '4th...

finally he passed. yes it's okay, after all, sooner or later he must know this. I'm not abnormal. I just don't want to do that. that's really what I consider disgusting and she can't accept.'

'30 march...

never mind, I am really tired and embarrassed to explain about this again and again to the next person. Already, there is no need for a 4th person I have to give an explanation. that's okay, no, evita, you can definitely. live alone to the end, it is common on this earth.a lot of people have done it.'

'5 september...

yeah I know he's very serious.he said it wasn't a problem? how could that not be a problem? 3 Others have ever retreated regularly just because of this.no way, there is no way he doesn't want it so much. he is still a sane man.maybe only I in this world am not sane.'

'8 march...

why is it that the more I want to avoid it, the more men want me? am I being tested, God? I don't mind living alone forever because this is the consequence that I have to accept from what is my decision in this life...'

'24 february...

the test for me is not over yet.he is the man I have known as part of my family.Oh my god, does he seriously want to marry me? what if I tell him too? what will his reaction be? he's the 5th man in the last 3 years to openly declare that he wants me. So what do I do now?'

'7 march...

it happened. I am not going to play with him. Even if I accept it now, see if he will change his mind as soon as I in time to tell him this. Oh my goodness, see, I just want to be selfish.Take me, take me seriously, but don't leave me if in the end he can't accept this.stay with me even without this between us.Will he?'

'9 march...

I've wanted to step back and give up. I better give up, there are still many others who can replace me for him. Even though I don't want to lose him, I also don't want to disappoint him. I still haven't changed.I still don't want to want it. No, it's still considered as something disgusting in my thinking.I might be right I'm not normal. how can a marriage not do that? but I don't want to. no, I don't want to. until whenever I don't want it. So, okay.I have to take a firm step.I'll just back off...'

................

Surprised me. To the point that I have trouble trying to understand all of this.

Evita, here is this diary and his confession.2 The diary as concrete evidence that this is impossible is just made up by the girl. Page after page in the early years of the story, it has now begun to look shabby. The type of pen used as a stationery is different at any time. And also his writing style. The proof of writing for the sake of this writing has long been made in stages.

All my life, it's the first time I've encountered a problem like this. And this is precisely what I will experience.

Evita clearly put a picture of the results of her hand on one of the pages of the diary book and it was made about 2 years ago. That page he marked the book and showed me.

S*X.

There are no se*s? No intimate relationship?

Of course it surprised me. This was Evita who frankly admitted it. Not a client or anyone else. My event.

It turns out that the girl considers and makes the relationship se*s or intimate relationship as something disgusting. And he's adamant he doesn't want that much less to do it.

Evita, how can it be? Wh why? What exactly happened to you?'

Genophobia, Coitophobia, Erotophobia...

Are you really a phobia against one of these phobias?.. phobias associated se*s?

How'this? What am I supposed to do? We do?