LOVE CINTYA

Pintya Pov

I don't know what fate God gave him. He had just begun to feel complete happiness, but in an instant he had a pain that was very painful and excruciating. The harsh reality he had hoped for was only a nightmare. But unfortunately all this is a reality that he must accept. The pain in his body is nothing compared to the pain in his heart and also mentally. Seeing the person he loved so much not move at all in front of his eyes. Previously it was the person who made it flowery.

His hands did not stop shaking the body of the man who had just become his lover to wake up. But his efforts did not produce results so he also thought that his lover was no longer alive.

I don't know how long he's been asleep. Even in his sleep he had a dream. A nightmare that forced him to wake up. As he began to open his eyes, he saw some people he was very familiar with. There is a father that he has not met for a long time, Tama his sister, as well as some of his friends, namely Dini and Kanya. Their faces all looked very sad. Are they sad because of me? What the hell happened to me? And where is this? For a moment I forgot what happened at that time. Because all I remember back then was just my nightmare that was so terrifying.

Days changed, and I was in my hometown. My father took me into a room I hadn't been in for so long. A room that has a million memories but feels very foreign to me. My eyes went around staring at the whole room, nothing changed with this room. But what's going on? Where is that woman? The woman who has taken over this house and the woman who has managed to get us out of here? I never found it. But to ask, I cannot. My mouth felt locked with sorrow embedded in my heart.

The first night back home I couldn't sleep. Several times my father and Tama alternately visited me into the room. They didn't ask anything when they came. They just keep trying to be around me and seem to want to show their affection. Am I that sad? I am actually very sad.

Losing my chastity and losing a loved one simultaneously made me feel that I was not fit to be in this world. What's the point of me living? There's nothing else I have to defend, right?. My chastity is gone taken away by a stranger I don't know. And my beloved has also left me. My eyes were fixed on the knife used by Tama to peel the fruit. Can I use that to catch up with him? But for a moment I realized when Tama gave a piece of fruit in front of me. That plain face looked extremely exhausted.

My days feel so empty. The shadows of the events of that time always haunted me almost every time I sighed. My chest always felt tight coupled with a heightened sense of anger made my body reflexively react. Shouting, crying, even throwing whatever was in front of me. After that, did everything improve? Of course not. My chest became increasingly tight, barely even able to breathe. It really tormented me. Soon I have to end all this.

I don't know how many times I've tried to end my life, but again these people are always trying to stop and save me. Don't they know how much I've suffered? Don't they know that there's no point in me living in this world. My world has been broken ever since that day. They should have let me go quietly up there. At least up there maybe I can meet my happiness that was there first. I miss him so much.. But no one understood my wishes.

Until the day my best friend finally came to visit me. I really miss them a lot. But... I don't want them to come here. I don't want them to be sad to see me like this. Please go away.. But those words got stuck in my mouth.

I think today is my lucky day. Kanya went and left that thing in front of me. Is it time for me to leave? I'll meet him up there. I grabbed the handle of the knife and looked at him happily. But Kanya suddenly entered and tried to take back the knife. I don't want to, this time I have to succeed. Thought. Today is my lucky day, right? But why did Kanya seem unhappy with what I was about to do. He was still trying to grab it without a care with his hands that had been bleeding because of grasping the blade. I gave up and let him take the knife back.

And soon Tama came with tears and said many words. Sorry for making you sad and cry too often Tam. But I can't stand all this anymore. Please understand my situation. Again my voice was restrained and only able to say "What use am I to live. So just let me die." Please let me end this. But my sister Tama has no upper limit to her patience in facing me. He left and came back with what I had hoped for. As if he agreed with my death. He even threw that thing in front of me. I wanted to reach for him, but suddenly he said something that made my heart shake violently. All I want is for me to leave.. But why would you say such a thing? I don't want you guys to come with me either. I finally broke my intention and promised myself not to do this again. What if what Tama said was really going to do. No. gabe.. No. gabe.. I don't want to.

Evening came, my two best friends seemed to choose to stay overnight. I heard them talking about Melky in the tv room. I only realized that I hadn't seen him in a long time. Even the last time I saw him... Right, he's in that place. He cried at me then. But where is he now? Why didn't he ever see me even when I was in the hospital. Is she okay?. I also refocused on listening to their conversation. I was so surprised to hear that Melky also felt a deep trauma after the incident. Butwhy? Why did he get to that?. Did his feelings also hurt after seeing my condition at that time? Though I have so often rejected his feelings, but stupidly he still loves me so much to all?. Oh my goodness Melky... Ii'm sorry. It turns out I wasn't the only one who suffered in this incident. Was I so selfish all this time that I always wanted to leave this world? I should have thought about their feelings too. They must also feel the pain I feel. Especially dad and Tama. Oh god forgive me... I'm sorry I was so selfish.

Next morning. Kanya and Dini went into my room. They said they would return this morning, and said they would come to visit more often. I couldn't say a word to them. My eyes were fixed on Kanya's hand that was already wrapped in bandages. I felt so guilty for her, but I didn't dare to apologize. It doesn't feel appropriate. But suddenly Kanya hugged my body, and Dini also hugged me. It felt so comfortable, that my tears just flowed. Shedding all the heartbreak that I have been damning myself. I finally established myself to survive for them. For those who love me so much.

And after the end I started to want to try to open up and be sincere about going through all this. God gave me a lot of extra bonuses.

My days are starting to improve a little. Tama also often take me out just to walk to the place I want to go. And my father, I can see him smiling again now. It turns out that seeing others happy can make our hearts happy too. And I thought the opposite too.. Means for these few months, they also felt sad to see me grieve.

That day Tama took me out and made me want to go where. And I chose to go to the pine forest. I chose to come there because I wanted to remember my dream last night. It was a beautiful dream and it hurt me too. I unknowingly told Tama the dream. As calm as I held back from crying, but in fact my defense was so weak that I remembered about him. Tama gave her a hug for me. But my heart still felt very sad, and these tears would not stop flowing. Finally took me home and put me in my room. I dropped my body on the bed and closed my eyes but did not sleep. I still feel Tama's presence in my room. He seems reluctant to leave me alone. I stayed in my position and let him stay in my room.

Tama's phone rang when someone called her. A little bit away from me but still in the room. I clearly heard the conversation. Turns out he was talking to the police who handled my case. Although I did not hear what the police said, but I understand a little with the purpose of their conversation. Currently they are talking about Bang Reza. It turned out that Bang Reza had already come to his senses from his coma. Mercifully.. Thought. But after that Tama said something that made me very surprised. I opened my eyes in disbelief. Tama said that he also hoped that the Daniel bang would also soon be aware of his long sleep. Degs.. Means all this time.. He's still ALIVE.