Last October
Worshipping????
Okta fiddled at the music studio where Rayzal usually spent time while at the campus art secretariat. But there was no Rayzal there. As it was about to pass, Fitrah, one of their seniors who had been playing mobile phones suddenly called Okta.
"key your bike woiiii...." Fitrah immediately shouted when she saw Okta would pass without a word. Only his head was behind the door.
Okta turned around and pointed her index finger in front of her face as if saying "me???"
Fitrah did not answer and immediately threw the key to the motorcycle towards Okta. Okta looked at the motor key and Fitrah alternated as if asking for an explanation.
"Rayzal came out, he said he would go straight home, not to campus again. He's sure you'll be here looking for him, so nitip key to me," explained Fitrah understand the meaning of Okta's gaze. Ah, Okta does have a habit of asking questions without uttering any sentences. Just staring at someone intensely. He thought everyone could guess what his head was.
"Where, brother?" Finally he asked a short question
"Nemenin Marsha looking for baby gear. Marsha has a new voice. Marsha will immediately bring him back to his house he said," explained Fitrah
"Oh, uh, Marsha's car?" Okta pursed her lips. "Thank you, brother..." Okta soon passed away leaving the music studio.
There was a bit of pain in his heart, yes that's how it should be. Rayzal applies well to everyone, whether men or women. Okta shouldn't feel special. Rayzal never gave her any signal. If the good attitude and comfort that Rayzal gives to Okta is considered special treatment, then everyone in their community even in Rayzal program will feel as Rayzal's special person, especially the women of course. But Okta can't lie to her own heart when she finds out Rayzal's way with Marsha. She is not a jealous woman, but there is something different from Marsha's attitude to Rayzal. There is something different from how the eyes of Marsha capture Rayzal's shadow, something different from each attention Marsha. Okta could not translate anything. How he would translate the hearts of others while he had great difficulty translating his own heart.
Arriving at the motor park, he did not go home immediately. He pulled out a phone hoping for a message from Rayzal telling him that he was accompanying Marsha shopping. At least it would slightly ease the strange vibe in his heart. The tremor for him was still too early to be summed up as a feeling of jealousy.
Unfortunately, there was no message from Rayzal. Checking Whatsapp even added to his heart ache. Because he found a Whatsapp Marsha Story that contained a video of Rayzal traveling around the baby clothes area. Not there, Okta then rushed to check Marsha's Instagram. Sure enough, Marsha posted the same thing. Not in the story, running in his instagram feed. The comments in the post successfully make the eye of the octa glazed :
"Cieee... Who is it?"
"Ray, Marsha since when?"
"wait for the invitation."
Even more frustrating because Marsha only replied:
"hee..."
"😁🥰"
"since...."
"doain aja."
Okta tried to inhale many times to relieve the tightness in her chest. He squeezed his nose hard so that his tears that had crystallized in his net did not budge on his cheek. Immediately turned on his motorcycle and passed away leaving the parking lot. He did not want people in the parking lot to look at him confused if he cried there. He lost focus so much he didn't realize he had missed his boarding passage. He was forced to turn back so aware he was missed, but he was so eager to get home and shed his tears on the bed.
He was very upset but did not know who. Should he be upset with Marsha? of course it's impossible. What if Marsha and Rayzal are dating. Should he be upset at Rayzal who's kind of giving him hope? Of course it's not right. It could be Okta himself who holds hope. That's how hard Friend Zone is. When you're jealous, don't let go, even conclude you don't have the courage.
Okta cried until she was tired and fell asleep. When he woke up, his heart was fine.
