L A T E

12

Fara dropped herself on the bed. Currently lying on his stomach, both of Fara's hands hugged a pillow while his face was buried in the soft object. Fara plays her original leg. His eyes are closed. Fara was rethinking the incident that had just happened. Unknowingly Fara took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

Fara turned her body when she felt her body was already sore with that position. Fara opened her eyes, her gaze fixed on the ceiling of the room that was white. His hands were spread wide. Fara's mind still drifted far into the incident.

Even though Fara looks like a fool, but she always thinks about every action she does. As of this moment, Fara was questioning herself: was her action at the time appropriate?

It happened by reflex. Fara suddenly felt unacceptable. Fara who is peace-loving and tends to avoid quarrels even deliberately ignites the fire of anger. Maybe all of this happened because the one who made the trouble was Rere. Someone who makes Fara's life a little unpleasant.

There were times when Fara was thinking evil: As long as Rere—kakkak women do despicable acts, then he would not miss this opportunity just like that. Fara felt she had to show Rere's ugliness to her parents.

About that's how Fara's evil thoughts when he finds Rere stealing something from Fara.

A grudge?

Dislike of it?

Hate it?

Or envious?

I don't know.

To Fara such a feeling still seemed hazy. Fara had no idea what she really wanted.

Fara felt herself at this moment being at a very complex feeling. Fara disliked her sister, but something forced her to stop disliking Rere.

It's called "bond".

Fara and Rere are brothers, have a blood relationship, and this relationship is not temporary, but forever. It is impossible to just be broken off like people are dating, and it will not expire like a friendship.

Like someone who is often hurt by other people he loves, but someone is still loyal to be near him and always, every moment loves him; no matter how often Rere makes him cry, annoyed, irritated, even being scolded for something Fara did not do, still Fara could not really hate Rere.

Fara thinks this is an instinct that is always present in every brotherly relationship. No matter how bad your brother is, he's still your brother. Fara was able to break off her friendship with Nova and Nino, because they were actually just other people for Fara. There is no blood relation. Fara had also known the two of them in recent years, it was because of the neighbors and one school, otherwise Fara would never have met them. While Rere? Fara was little with him even they were in the same womb. There is no "if this and that" between the two. Without even bothering to get acquainted, Fara and Rere remained and were indeed brothers. Fara couldn't even break off her relationship with Rere. There is no fraternal relationship that will later become an ex. They will forever remain brothers.

Once more.

Because Fara and Rere are bound, firmly and impossible to be entangled.

Most likely, yes.

Fara realized, it's not appropriate that she doesn't like Rere. It's not Rere's fault he's smarter than Fara. Fara knew that Rere was only doing something that fit her current position. Rere is a child who inevitably has to make his parents proud, and he is an older brother who should be a good role model for Fara, as his sister. However, that Rere was still an ordinary human being. No matter how hard Rere tries, he won't be perfect. Behind all his achievements and achievements, Rere still has flaws.

Maybe the problem is with Fara. According to Fara's point of view, Rere should be like a brother to his sister. Rere is not stingy, after getting money from work, not infrequently Rere gave him pocket money or treat him to eat. Rere also once hugged him who was crying because he lost the drawing race in SD first. Rere also taught himself to be stupid when it comes to counting painstakingly. Fara did not reject her good treatment, Fara considered it something that her sister did.

However, like one coin with two different sides, Rere also has the personality of the other. From what Fara saw during his 17 years as his brother, Rere was an ambitious figure, Rere wanted to win himself, he did not want to be blamed. That rere always wants attention, he should always shine. Fara sometimes thought: did Rere deliberately do this to make Fara jealous? As soon as he thought that, Fara would quickly deny it. For whatever reason Rere tried hard just to make Fara envious. It doesn't seem reasonable. Fara's not as smart as Rere anyway. Fara was not a match for Rere. Which there is Fara envying Rere not the other way around. Yes, Fara admitted she was jealous of her older sister. He is still a child until now, a teenager. How not? Rere has a lot of things that Fara does not have: Cleverness, a beautiful face, and an easy going personality. Rere also arbitrarily, proved he who took Fara's property without permission, causing a recent quarrel.

Of all the vices that Rere has, there is one that Fara dislikes the most. Rere was a snitch to his parents, especially those who were complained sometimes not in accordance with the facts. If there is an incident that has the potential to make him a suspect, Rere is not reluctant to lie to save himself. No matter, it's bad for others. Most importantly, he was cleared of the suspect's charges.

Ck, that sucks.

Fara who was still sitting in elementary school was often suddenly taken by her mother because of something that Fara did not do, if it was so Fara just kept quiet while continuing to remember something, until Fara is fed up of herself and ends up with her eyes closed due to drowsiness.

Fara again breathed a heavy sigh. He stopped thinking about Rere.

Fara woke up from her sleep. He hasn't changed uniforms. Fara walked to the side of her wardrobe. Fara opened one by one the buttons of the white uniform and then released them. The thought of a plain gray T-shirt hanging from a clothes hanger right next to his wardrobe was. Fara spent about five minutes changing clothes. Currently he was wearing a shirt that looked slightly oversized on his body as well as black training pants that were long above his ankles.

Fara turned around, then walked towards her bed. He brought back his body.

Suddenly Mama's sad face after being snapped by Rere was imagined. Come to think of it—can be—their parents who made Fara dislike Rere. His parents' treatment of Rere and Fara was the cause. Especially her parents. Did he not like it because he was stupid? Or was his father unaware of what he was doing? Fara does not. It does not make sense if adults do something like that accidentally, after all, the papa has often done it. Fara also never found Rere who was hit by mama's scolding. Maybe Rere had been hit, but at that time he was not home. Yeah, it might be like that.

Fara told you, didn't she? It's not fitting that Fara doesn't like Rere. Fara should not have liked the treatment of her parents. However, it's not that simple. It could also be likened to this: if Rere did not exist, his parents would be fair because Fara had no siblings, and Fara became an only child. Or more realistic. Rere was the first child, there was no way Fara was born to be Rere. Therefore, why did his parents not have Rere alone as his only child, in other words, there was no him.

Fara did not regret the fate God had set for her. Regret is of no use and only adds to sins. Fara prefers to make peace and tries to accept it.

Don't get me wrong. There are times when Fara complains, and sometimes blames circumstances. Fara as a human must have felt tired and fed up. It's all human, as long as it's not for a long time.

"Hanel ...." Fara took a slow breath, then exhaled it.

Fara stared at the wall clock, there was a time of 30 minutes that Fara could use at will. Fara closed her eyes immediately. Fara yawned a few times. Slowly the subconscious welcomes it. Not until 10 minutes, Fara was already fast asleep.

***