INTROVERT LOVE'S
Episode 1's
We Are Today a Group
Events in the Past
My name is Hanan As Sidqi, an only child, it feels like I only live together with Mama in this world. Mmm. .. or if life is like a novel story, Mama and I are the main characters while humans other than us are only complementaries who carry out their respective roles.
Before we start everything, I tell you from now on, if by chance we meet on the street don't feel uncomfortable if the first thing I do is look you in the eye very sharply then
the gaze penetrates into the nerves of the eye, the way to the brain and down to your heart very quickly, in such a short time of the multitude of men with all kinds of characteristics that I have met I have been able to know you because in fact the eyes are the windows of the soul, the eyes are the windows of the heart.
I believe a phrase from Theodore Roosevelt that reads, ‘I am part of everything I read’ or as commonly described by the French people Dis-moi ce que tu manges, I am, je te presented ce que test which means tell me what you eat and I will tell you how you are. Beyond all these theories I also believe one thing, that our person today is also shaped by events that have happened to us in the past, in addition to the genetic or neuron that God has given to
each human being that the meeting after meeting between one human being and another human being is very
it affects the way we live.
As I was a child, I didn't have many friends or acquaintances to socialize with, before I wrote in a special book listing the name of Toxic people that I thought would harm me, before
we know each other and you come into my life, let me look you in the eye….
Well, we start this story, about the pieces of life that besides God and Mama of course, all we need to believe in is ourselves.
Sin One
From the many relics I can guess if during his life Papa was a cool man, Mama's stories about how they met until finally married make me more and more
idolizing Papa, some of the photos embedded in the old album can help me to dig up some memories of our little family that are still complete, like the one photo I like the man I love the most that hugged me from behind on the lake ranger, holding me back who was crying because I did not want to be photographed, even to this day I really don't like being photographed. There is a lost warmth, an unexplained emptiness of soul every look at the sheet, regrets sometimes come, I should have taken many pictures with Papa.
As an adult I realized that one thing that is certain in this world is not the happiness we plan tomorrow, but death. Papa has to leave us, he has won from the cardiovascular
who had hurt him for a long time. Wouldn't pain take away sins, if we were to go through it patiently? Papa has been living in another world happier, it happened when I was four years old, did not understand the meaning of loss, until time piled all, loss in the end is a sense, a sense of, the feeling that stifled the chest, brought tears.
Would not God also not test his servant beyond his means? Mama is the answer, life alone in the end I think enough.
We continue to live, Mama plays as both people at once, she is very good at positioning herself until at some moment I think that life without a male parent is not so much a problem, he said, I mean I don't need any other man besides my coolest Papa. In the hands of Mama the heritage cake shop is growing rapidly, Mama recruit some employees. Hanan Bakery became a favorite pastry shop in the city, Mama did not know the word fall or fall, she was a tough woman, praise-by-praise thrown from a large family or neighbors, he said, our lives got better until the pieces of the wound came back to test the good guys like Mama and me.
I have to go to school, I have entered six years, even though without tasting the kindergarten bench first I have known letters and numbers, can write and read even though still stammering, he said, because when having free time Mama always took the time to teach me to read and write also teach so that when entering elementary school I can adjust and balance other children.
As for Mang Iwan is an employee of Mama's trust, his job is to take me to school, take care of various flowers on the front page as one of the attractors of customer interest so that they visit the store more often. Mang Iwan was the only man I was familiar with, he was a good listener and storyteller.
Spoiled and timid are my two funny traits to remember, the first year Mama waited for me to come home, on the sidelines of the lessons that took place every once in a while I must have looked out the window, it'll be quiet and learning if I make sure you're still outside. Day by day the courage appeared until the school shuttle Mama entrusted to Mang Iwan. Being in school means I'm going to spend more time outdoors than usual, playing in new environments, meeting new people, it used to be night to morning because the word ‘school’ my chest often thumped.
***
My over-sensitivity towards others starting from that day, the morning tinge, Mang Iwan was already waiting in front of the gate of the house, as usual I would be happy if Mang Iwan was piggybacking longer, passing other paths so as not to quickly get to school, not to run out of topics, throughout the journey he asked me many things, told funny things or gave advice so that I could be a good boy, he asked me many things, soothing, fun.
“Let's go home fast huh, Bang?”
“Iya, Mang. Hanan's anterin school is coming back to the market, huh? Want to buy new lego.”
“Ready, Boss! Later mamang help choose a good.” Mang Iwan looked back, smiling convincingly.
“Lego what else this time?” Mang Iwan.
“Spidemeeen, Mang,” I replied slurred.
“Oh, which spider it is, yes?”
“Hu, um. Does mom know?
“Yes, you know, Mamang also like spidemen.” That's how Mang Iwan, it can always be fun
hearts. Whatever I like is also his favorite.
“Bang, his wealth Mamang in the wind, nih. How mules really, huh?” Mang Iwan. Suddenly he raised the motor gas, with a swift grip on his waist.
“We find the toilet first yes, Bang. Yes, yes, yes?”
“Siap Mang, hunt later wet pants!” I panicked and felt funny seeing his expression.
“Ayook, Maaang. Nompoolll!” I screamed while patting her on the shoulder, cheering. Mang Iwan laughed out loud, squirming his body like a top racer when we were on the straight road, really funny.
Right in front of the Mang Iwan city sports building parked the motorbike, asked me to wait and then ran to the toilet in the back there.
“How much is it here?”
“Again Mang Iwan, why, Om?” I was confused, trying to remember if I knew before
that guy's.
“You're going to school, right? Together with Om aja, let's not be late, want?” He took it as if we knew each other.
“Think, Om. I'm waiting for Mang Iwan aja.”
“Later late, loh!”
“Engga, what Om, do it,” I replied steady.
“Tomorrow! It's okay!” The man snapped, I was scared even more as he tried to grab my hand.
“Hanan to the back first yes .. want to follow Mang,iwan.” I ran small
heading to the gym to look for Mang Iwan, my heart pounding, I looked back, the big man following me.
I was worried and upset, Mang Iwan had not yet appeared, I did not know the exact position of the toilet, was afraid of him crying and speeding up to run, unfortunately the big man also accelerated his steps to pursue. Until I finally saw the toilet in the corner of the building, both doors were closed, I thought Mang Iwan was in one of the toilets, just about to scream the big man grabbed my feet, made me fall down, he said,
until this face strongly hit the floor, sore. Such a great fear made my mouth unable to scream, that a wet cloth covered my face, the smell was stinging, cold, I lost consciousness.
***
The drops of water made me wake up, whether the drops to how clearly the school uniform had been soaked, bruised on the face throbbing, poignant, poignant, I looked up and shifted my body little by little so that I would no longer be exposed to raindrops from the leaking ceiling. The dark, hands and feet tied firmly to the rope, beyond the heavy rain, the breeze of the wind blowing my neck and the squeak of broken windows scared me even more. I miss Mama.
I shivered in the cold, wanted to scream it felt useless because I did not know where I was, instinct also said it was a dangerous thing. From the outside room I heard a big man
singing mimicked the vocalist of a western song that I thought was playing through a cell phone, his voice was very discordant, worsening the mood. The dense smoke of the cigarette made me cough, as soon as heavy footsteps led to the room, the floor of the house board creaked, the big man approached me, my chest pounding. I want to go home ….
“Hei, ternayata has built his champion mama ...” The big-looking man crouched down right in front of me, examining the scar on the face.
“Hanan wants to go home, Om. Mama's share ..” I looked down, not daring to look into his eyes.
“Go home? Let's play first, shall we?”
“It should have been this morning you followed me, it turns out you are wayward too, yes!” He shook my head.
“Mafin Hanan, Om. Hanan wants to go home.”I beg.
“Why do you have a nose? Oh, a cold, huh?”
The plot!
“Aaak .. mercy om, sick, Hanan wrong what ...” I grimaced, the big man flicked his finger firmly into my nose, as it hurt so much that my tears flowed, I resigned.
“Boy really crybaby, messing around yet how!” He stood up and looked upset. Just about to throw a hand over my cheek the sound of a car horn made him rush to leave me while threatening, “Wait ya, boy!”.
I took my body to the door to find out who had just come, it was so dark outside I could not see clearly through the door, the big-looking man came back with a handkerchief which he then tied in my mouth forcefully. I didn't dare to talk much, let alone fight back because his gaze was so scary.
“Well, smart, if not a hassle like this you will be faster to go home!” I just nodded, put on a pity face, he took me out of the house. The rain hit the part of my face that hurt me
back to pain.
It was a plantation, a house surrounded by coffee trees, no light except the headlights of a carry car that was lit and ready to take me somewhere.
Big man slammed my body on the back bench, tightened the ties in the hands and feet, this body bent, I feel pain in the back, I was so scared to shortness of breath.
They don't talk, there's just pop songs playing through the car tape, all the way I'm trying to look up to find out where I'm at, the rope ties are too tight to make me unable to move much which is clearly already in a crowded area, the light rays of the street lights are visible one by one from the dark window, the sounds of passing vehicles are also heard and I hope one of them is Mama or Mang Iwan who is looking for me.
I don't know their motive for doing this to me which obviously made me believe the kidnapping scene like the one in those movies actually existed.
The car suddenly slowed down, I heard the bang of a single organ speaker from the outside, as well as the voice of a woman with her mellow singing a dangdut. That's hope! People are celebrating the party dancing to eat the body of the road. The luck is coming for me! Coincidentally someone peeked into the car , our eyes accidentally looked at each other, he was shocked to see me, with my reflexes jolting kicking the car body as much as possible, asking for help.
“Fucking boy! Can you calm down, ha!?” Big man
rebuking.
“Trump aja, Bang.Trash!” He cursed, the car stopped immediately
suddenly, the driver honked repeatedly. The car couldn't move, something big was blocking the wheels, they both looked panicked. I heard a commotion from the outside up to one thing I couldn't believe as the driver turned and approached me in the back seat.
Connect ....
