I Turned Him in a Third Night

Part 8 | Bismillah

"Don't ask me about the love I never received. Because the answer will remain the same. I haven't found him you call love."

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One-word love with no definition is hard to understand. Love one word has millions of meanings that hold many flavors, including wounds. Love is the nature of a human being but do not blame it if it turns into slander. Not the wrong love. What is wrong is to whom love is anchored to the point of inflicting grievous wounds and pains within the chest cavity. If love had been anchored to Allah, the Owner of Love, it would never have known hurt and disappointment. For indeed, the love of the haqiqi is the love of Allah the Most High.

Deifying love is a folly that is currently rampant. Under the pretext of loving each other two people who are not lawful to establish a love that is not Allah ridhoi. Is true love more than love for God? Of course the answer is, no. For the true love of love is unto Him, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

If indeed love is now lodged in our hearts then we forget the love to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Leave it not love but ambition and obsession. Love God, God will love us. Approach God and God will come closer to us. Do not be too dizzy to think of a soul mate who does not know where he is. Because we don't know. Is the yellow janur or yellow flag first installed in front of our house?

Silence pensive and fixated in front of a computer that lights up in front of the eyes has become a routine. "Han kok loe bengong anyway?" keyra asked Zihan from his daydream.

"No, Key," his alibi.

"Loe's fine, isn't she?" keyra asked worried because Zihan was not as usual who looked cheerful and spoke a lot.

Zihan nods to reassure Keyra that she is doing well. It was physically unharmed but his heart held so many wounds. His physique looked ordinary, but his heart was incredible. Soaking up the pain that continues to gnaw the chest cavity. The pain was definitely felt.

'The day of Gibran's wedding with Zahra. Can I see everything?'I'm strong, I can. God gives me a test because God wants to know my faith, his mind is strengthening.

"That's dumb again" said Keyra, surprising Zihan.

"Astaghfirullah." Zihan immediately took pride in his heart. He focused back towards the computer screen that was in front of him. Instead of responding to Keyra's rant that even makes it more soluble in sadness.

"May I ask?" ask someone at Zihan's desk.

Zihan looked up and found someone familiar to him 'Irfan?' his inner.

"Eh it turns out that you, Han kirain who," always after finding Zihan's face with his senses. Zihan just nodded and smiled amiably.

"Cock here?" asked Zihan pleasantries and was a little curious.

"So abis ngisi seminar at the medical faculty, continue to want to look at the book here," he explained.

"I've been here a few times but I just saw you now?" the question is because Irfan has several times filled seminar events on health at the campus where Zihan works.

"I usually keep it in the library that is in the hospital, where the koas practice. But I happen to be guarding it here now, and I have to help you manage your business, too" explained Zihan.

"Oh that way, our pantes rarely meet," he kekehnya.

Zihan just smiled faintly. "By the way, what book would you like to find?" ask Zihan.

The conversation of the two just dissolved. It seems that Zihan can forget for a moment his love affairs that ran aground in the middle of the road because it was too cool to talk with Irfan.

"You're coming, right to Zahra's marriage to Gibran?" her question that made Zihan come back to dissolve and remember about his sadness.

"God willing," replied Zihan with his trademark smile. Let no one else know his sorrow and pain. Zihan doesn't want everyone to know about his feelings right now.

'Gue likes to see your smile, Han,' Irfan's inner smile happily.

"Bareng." Whether it's a call or a question for Zihan. Clearly he couldn't answer.

"Let's see later, Fan," said Zihan then giving Irfan a book he borrowed.

"I've been waiting for the next news, assalamualaikum." Irfan immediately left after hearing the greeting from Zihan's mouth.

"Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah."

"Who, Han is so familiar?" asked Keyra who had listened to the chat between Zihan and Irfan.

"Temen," Zihan replied and then looked back at his computer screen.

"Temen Key," said Zihan lazy response to his friend who missed kepo.

"Demen doesn't have a papa either, Han. He likes to be loe" said Keyra.

Zihan did not respond to Keyra's rant he took the headset and stuffed his ear. Keyra looks very upset with the behavior of his coworkers who ignore him just like that.

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Laying his body on the soft sofa of the house gives a little effect of comfort and tranquility. "Tiring day," he murmured while kneading the temple that felt throbbing pain. His eyes were closed but his hands were still faithfully twitching his temples.

"Capek very rich," the mother's voice made Zihan's eyes open perfectly.

"Yes." Yeah." Zihan immediately got up from his sleep and sat side by side with his mother.

"Don't be too shorn, Han if work," he said, reminding the princess.

"Yes." Yeah."

"Don't yes.yes.mulu horrified what Mother said," he rebuked.

"Yes, my dear beautiful Mother," Zihan chuckled.

"When did you bring in a candidate to marry you, son?" his father's voice echoed through Zihan's sense of hearing.

Bak is struck by lightning in broad daylight Zihan cringes himself with the horror questions his father throws. Although this wasn't for the first time for him, it was still a horror question he didn't want to hear.

"Dad's getting old, son. I want to see and shake the hand of the man who will be your husband" he continued, sitting beside the princess and stroking the tops of her daughter Khimar's closed head.

Miris once his fate heard the request of the father who until now he has not been able to fulfill. Zihan only smiled bitterly in response to his father's request. "Both of your best friends are going to have a wedding tomorrow, so what about you, son?" The mother also spoke up which made the feeling of tightness more open in his chest.

The hands of the father and mother. "God has not been willing to give Zihan the companion of life that Father and Mother want."

"Dad knows, son. I've often found a mate for you, but why do you always reject it" said Pratama who has often introduced Zihan to the son of his coworkers.

"Indeed it's not yet time, Dad." the clear droplets just escaped without being on the cue from Zihan's beautiful eyes.

"Try to open your heart, son," suggested the mother gently stroking the top of Zihan's head.

Zihan just nodded weakly. He was not ready to open and rearrange his heart. If only disappointment would come back he would get. Hugged the father and mother tightly. Spilling all the pain in his heart. "Sorry Zihan."

"Do you need a father who will find you a mate again?" asked the father hesitated, he was afraid of the rejection of Zihan who had often floated.

"If it is indeed the best God willing, Zihan will accept it" he said listlessly, obviously full of doubt.

"Don't be too forced, Dad. Let Zihan choose and decide for himself," Windi advised the husband and it warmed up Zihan's heart instantly.

"Dad won't force you, if you don't agree with Dad's choice" explained the father, who made more relief in Zihan's heart.

'Bismil was bornrahmanirrahim, perhaps this is God's way of helping to bury deeply this unwelcome feeling, ' his mind tries to accept with sincerity and airiness.

Not a single parent would plunge his child into the pit of Zihan's misery, his bright side making a sound. Don't want Zihan it's just a trick, a loveless marriage will be tasteless, but the bad side will poison Zihan's mind.

'Ease all the affairs of the servant in climbing one by one the ladder of life that You have laid down O Allah.' Do it in the heart.

Marriage is not a game to try first. But Zihan will give it a try, opening the heart to someone who somehow seems to be. Somehow and what it will be like. Only God knows his life, death, and soul mate.

'Maybe in this way I can make Father and Mother happy.' his resolve was unanimous. Opening and arranging the heart that means he must be ready to hurt.Semannis-sweet sugar will still leave a bitter taste at the end.Soever with love that is always sweet at the beginning but bitter at the end.