GUS IS MY HUSBAND
Early Hijrah
This heart is always envious when seeing women dressed in sar'i wear long hijab, socks even to cover her beautiful face behind a cloth called niqop. This soul seemed to tremble to follow the footsteps chosen by the woman, namely the footsteps of Mother Fatimah Azzahra. Then sometimes this self uses a cloth called niqop which is often called a lot of people veil secretly, unable to wear it in front of many people. Because this heart is not as strong as steel to listen to the scorn of all of them. There is a fear in this self "Am I capable of istiqomah? is it able to be patient when it says ninja, ***** even a cult?"
The beginning of my hijrah was no one to support, even my family though. Yes I moved slowly. I intend in my heart to wear hijab even though inside the house. First to wear hijab inside the house all the family members many ask.
"Where do you go on deck, why wear a hijab"
With a smile I answered my mother's question "Not going anywhere ma'am"
"Where are you going to wear a hijab?" Tanyana wonder
A smile did not fade from my lips when I heard the next question, Yes first I never wear a hijab when inside the house even out of the house if I think the distance is still close from my house. I just wore a hijab when traveling far away. Though one step of the daughter out of the house does not close the law is the same as one step of her father to hell, naudzubillah. So from there I wanted to wear the hijab so that my father would not get closer to hell, because I did not want to give a hell to my father.
"Yes, she does not want to go anywhere ma'am, from now on I want to wear a hijab even at home" I replied subtly with a smile.
"What to wear hijab in the house?, after all no one sees just make a white quick sign" with sewot and immediately go out of the house
This heartache is hearing the words that come out of the lips of my own mother, the woman I love. I don't feel these tears coming out without me preventing them. Is it wrong to wear this hijab?. I never expected my mother's response to be so poignant when I saw her wearing a hijab inside the house. What's wrong with trying?, there's nothing wrong with this?
I looked at my mother passing from before me with tears flowing without stopping.
"Newly I wear hijab your response is like that ma'am, then if you know in your heart this child wants to wear a veil like a woman out there what insults will come out of your mouth mom?" I asked in my heart
I just realized it turns out the hijrah is not easy, a lot of gravel, thorns, even a cliff that stands in the way. No wonder the reward is heaven. So how do women out there deal with it?, surely there are those who support and strengthen it, right?
"I want to be like them, O Allah, help Your servant. If not my two parents who support me wear the veil, let my husband wear it to me, O God" I asked the Creator.
If the intention of the heart is because God believes, God will help you without any intermediary. God does not sleep, he always sees what all His servants do. Even hidden in the heart He can hear clearly without you saying.
