Genk Socialite

Died Marriage

Risma Samaya's.

If most girls wake up in the morning, I wake up around 12. This applies if my work shift goes in the afternoon or evening. When I opened my eyes the first thing I did was not shower or clean the bed but turn on the smartphone.

Teng.tong.

Just now my smartphone is on already beeping. Screenshot turned out there were 1 whatsapp message from Mas Bima.

Huh huh? Tumben really bima send whatsapp messages? Usually if he misses me, he goes straight to the house. Lest he get sick? Because of the excitement, I touch whatsapp icon on the smartphone screen to read the message from Bima mas.

*Bad news girl, ur prince charming to marry next month*.

The eyes that had been half closed immediately became literate when reading whatsapp messages from Mas Bima. I blinked my eyes, hoping for a wrong look but my vision remained the same. 

Prince Charming who was referred to by Bima must be Bastian Yoel Permana, the person I loved the most for eight years. 

I half can't believe what Bima said in her whatsapp message. Because if he already has a wife and almost married why yesterday when dating me to Parangtritis beach he did not say the same to me? My fingers type a reply for Mas Bima.

Huh huh? Seriously lo? Don't lie to me!

Directly there is a blue two-tick mark, meaning that the whatsapp message I sent has been read by mas Bima. A moment later came another reply from him.

Two rius. Why am I lying to you? Like prince charming lo is married because of his parents. 

I did not reply to whatsapp messages from Bima mas. Without feeling my tears flowing down my cheeks. My heart was so full of news that the person I love most in life would marry another girl. 

Yes, God just now I feel happy again because it was reunited with Bastian after six years apart, why is he now married to another girl? Do I not deserve to be happy and to have love as I wish? 

“Udah you askin directly same person yet? Lo as his lover Bastian, must trust fully in Bastian not the same others.”

The words of Felis he spoke seven years ago were again ringing in my ear. Those words are enlightenment for my heart. Yes, true to what Felis said. I, as Bastian's lover, have to trust Bastian completely and not everyone else. Even though Bima was my cousin's brother, she was still someone else for my relationship with Bastian.

Quickly my right hand grabbed the smartphone lying beside the pillow. I want to contact Bastian, I want to ask him if his marriage is right or not.

I just dialed Bastian's number, my smartphone went off. On top of the smartphone screen there is an envelope logo that indicates there is a text entry. I immediately touched the logo of the envelope to read the message.

From: Bastian Yoel Permana

*Haalo, Risma. You must have gotten a wedding invitation from me, right? I know the invitation must have hurt your heart. But that's the reality you have to accept. I'm sorry because yesterday I didn't tell you anything about this marriage*.

*Actually I was betrothed by my parents, I returned to Indonesia because I want to give the most beautiful memories first to you before I leave for good*.

*Some time forgive me. But one thing you should know, When your heart is hurt, believe me there will be an angel who is ready to treat your heart's wounds*.

**adult**

**bastian Yoel Permana**

The answer already means Bastian's residence yesterday at Keyzia's wedding. It is true that my silence holds a million mysteries, as if something was hidden from me. It turns out that what he was hiding was about his match with another girl. Again my tears flowed down my cheeks.

To get rid of my current turmoil, I tried online facebook only. I touched the Facebook icon on the smartphone screen. Fortunately the network is again good so that in a few seconds it is already the homepage of facebook. I accidentally read the status of Dervish Tere Liye, author of the novel Moga Mother dear to God. 

Can I willingly release it? Rela one simple word is so easy to pronounce orally yet so difficult to do by the heart. Yes, my speech can say willing to let go but deep down my heart remains unwilling even I pray for Bastian's marriage to be void.

***

I breathe out in life

Beautiful solitude in a dream

My silence is a thousand languages

My silence keeps the stinging

My mouth can say, I can live without you

But in my heart I screamed

Shouts are non-stop

I cry in pain

The silence that always accompanied me

I am tired of living in silence

I want to let go

But I couldn't

Now I can only accept all of this

I believe tomorrow there will be a light illuminating my life

Word for word has been assembled into a poem. I don't know why since I was left with Bastian, I became very fond of writing poetry on my favorite laptop. Abis wants how else the innate heart that is again upset to want to cry continuously. My life is empty without Bastian. He has been my life spirit all along. Though it has been 3 days after the verdict but still my spirit has not appeared

Fortunately the big boss where I work is kind and understanding with his employees so I was allowed to leave. It is also free to work if the mind is not concerned. My mind was only on Bastian. Ah, why the hell should Bastian be the one I love? Just now I feel happy with him eh have to separate again.

Take off my memory, erase about him

Take away my memories of him.

Eliminate my memory of him

I'd like to forget.

I remembered the lyrics to a Geisha song called Disable My Memory. The lyrics are deep and in line with how I feel. If God can grant a request quickly then I will ask for 2 requests. The first plea I wanted God to remove all about Bastian from my brain and the second I wanted love in my heart to be transferred to the person who loved me.

“Hay, Risma. I am dating. You must miss me, right? Sorry, I just got to come because I have a lot of work from the boss.” The sound of a girl's crashing. From his voice I knew the owner was the Felis.

“Ris, I'm dating kok you don't welcome anyway? Bete knows! It feels like a friend who is not considered.”

“Abis who told you to come here? Coming at the wrong time. I'd like to be alone again,” grumbled in my heart. That sentence I said. Fear Felis is angry. Anyway Felis is my best friend. He has always been there for me in times of joy and sorrow.

“Sorry, Fel. I was busy typing poetry on my laptop,” I replied soberly. That's why I forced him to talk.

“Since when do you like to write poetry? Let me see his poetry!” Felis took my favorite laptop. Yeah, I let him read the poem I was typing on the laptop. I don't want to take it back. If it's scrambled, my laptop could break.

Felis' eyes glared as she looked at my laptop screen. “Segitinya mengeliatin my poem? My poem is cool, right?” my many.

“Not that, dodol. I was glaring because I was confused because I still write upset poetry? Tired deh!” felis. He patted his own head. “If you make a poem galau kayak gini that there lo more meleek. Mending lo now you come with me!”

I scrunched my forehead. “Where?”

“There's. Anyway I will take you to a place that can make your heart not upset anymore.”

“Ogah ah. I'm not in the mood anymore.”

“Please please..” Felis takes out its flagship style, putting up a weld face. Seeing his face that slashed like a beggar I could not bear to refuse his invitation.

“Yes I want to go with you. But I change clothes first huh?”

Felis's face turned cheerful again. “OK, I wait lo outside huh? Mas Bima is also waiting for you outside.”

“We go the same Mas Bima too?”

“Yes that is, if there is no he is not exciting.”

Felis came out of my room. I'm ready to change clothes too. Maybe it's true that going with Felis and Bima my turmoil can gradually disappear. Yeah, I hope it's like that.