FITRAH LOVE
Something About Him
The time showed at seven in the morning, but the atmosphere in the boarding school was already boisterous filled with the voices of the students who were busy cleaning. Yes, because today is a Sunday which is the schedule of their activities for filial work.
While others were excited to do this routine, but on the edge of the park I saw one of the santri wati who was sitting leaning with a grim face.
Seeing him from a distance, I rushed to him who was alone. I slowly sat down next to him. His gaze was so empty towards the front, it seemed like he had yet to realize my whereabouts. I also tried to break the silence.
“Beautiful yes..” I said while pointing at one of the flowers there.
“Eh Mbak Indira huh?” Ask, who was beginning to realize my presence.
“Iya hey.. You what is her name?” My heart, holding out my hand to get acquainted.
“I Desi, Ma'am.” He answered, welcoming my hand to shake with a smile.
“Kok alone here Des? not join another?” My toot.
“Ngak Mbak, I happen to prefer to be alone.” He answered, looking at me, then he looked back.
Looking at him like that, I think there is something heavy he is feeling. I wanted to ask, but I was afraid to interfere with his privacy. But I wouldn't have the heart to leave him alone, I didn't want him to feel lonely.
Although maybe at the beginning he had told me that he really preferred to be alone. But I think there is something big behind him choosing such an attitude.
***
I just stared at him from the side, watching his face deeply. Until.. her crying broke, yes now the young girl in front of me shed her tears quite profusely. Rushing I immediately embraced and rubbed his back.
I let her shed her tears, maybe that would make her feel a little calmer. Because sometimes crying is not a sign of weakness, someone who cries does not mean he is not strong, but it is marked he has survived so great.
And again, crying is a very human thing, sometimes it's okay for us to show ourselves who are doing well. There is nothing wrong with it all, it is precisely wrong if we try to look okay even though we are in need of help.
It doesn't matter if people around you know about the situation you're in, so they understand and give you a pause to recover. It is true that the world does not need to know that you are battered, but try to understand yourself first in this situation so that everything can be organized.
How often do we put other people's feelings first, especially ourselves? How often do we try to understand others, but not ourselves? It is enough, for now start loving and appreciating yourself more.
***
After her crying slowly stopped, and she felt a little calm, Desi opened her voice which sounded a little hoarse because after crying.
“Mbak, can I tell you a story? I don't think I'm strong anymore Mommy.” He said to me with a bright look.
“Of course you can dong, I deliberately approached you here so that you are not alone. Please any story you want, I will gladly listen.” Replied him.
Then Desi began to tell me her life story, about what she had been feeling and feeling. Throughout Desi's story, I tried to let her blow it all out first.
I occasionally give a short response, to indicate that I understand and am still enthusiastic to listen to every word he said.
***
Desi tells me that what makes me feel devastated is, because today is her birthday. And as he grew older he felt so lonely and had no reason to survive, for he had no one left.
Because it turns out that Desi has been left by his father since he was very small. His irresponsible father made him only live alone with his mother. But when he was in 6th grade, his mother was exposed to complications that eventually died and left Desi alone.
Desi who at that time was not quite mature but had been forced to experience all the exposure of life so hard. Desi said that how devastated she was at that time, a mother who was the only one she had had had to leave her so quickly, which in the end made Desi nurtured by her aunt.
Like a stranger, Desi is not so close to the aunt. Likewise with his aunt who is so cute with him, although sometimes Desi has helped him when selling rice and cooked side dishes in the market. In addition to the situation of school friends Desi who often bully himself.
Desi said, his fat body is often a subject of ridicule by friends and teachers at his school. This made her less confident and more depressed. Maybe in front of them Desi can act as if it is okay, but who would have thought that it had an impact on his mental health.
***
“Before I was here I had a few times attempted suicide, Ma'am.” He said with his head down, without pointing his face at me. I who heard it so sliced, I tried to see his face that still subdued the view.
“Then, when I was in 1st grade I often crossed the street without looking left right. Precisely even when there is a car or truck passing by I deliberately went straight across, hoping my body was hit, but always failed.” Further.
“Until one day when I decided to leave my aunt's house and want to do the experiment again, the car in front of me suddenly brake and the driver immediately came out to approach me. Unlike the others, the owner of the car did not scold me who had crossed the road arbitrarily. He even took me to one of the closest eating places around, he asked me a lot about me. He was so worried about my condition, that when I finally opened up to tell stories, he offered me to enter this boarding house.” Go back, tell me his story.
“Alhamdulillah yes Des, there are still good people who care about you. Although unknowingly the person may be an intermediary from God, to save you from the bad conditions that you experienced at that time.” I embrace, with a full smile towards him.
“Iya Ma'am, and in this life I can only be as fast as that to tell a lot about my life to new people. Because usually I tend to be closed and closed off from people around, but either I get comfort when telling stories with these 2 people, namely Mbak one of them.” His words now began to look and smile at me.
“Oh yes if you can know the person who helped you until now is still connected with you Des?” I asked, who was curious about a good person who has so much empathy in an era like today.
“Of course it's still Mbak, because that guy owns this boarding school. Only recently he could not visit the pesantren because he was lying in the hospital, even we all pesantren had time to pray together for his recovery.” The answer.
“The name is Mas Hendra, Ma'am. His people are very good, not infrequently he so often gives gifts to diligent and accomplished students, very motivating anyway, like like this Indira Mbak.” Furthermore, I was surprised after knowing the person and started to not focus on listening to the words from Desi.
“Mas Hendra..” My words were slightly heard by Desi.
“Yes, Mas Hendra. You know?” Ask Desi.
I tried to control myself in front of Desi, there was no way I was going away from her who was now in need of someone to calm her down. I explained to Desi that I knew Mas Hendra because he used to work at his Cake shop.
But I who do not want to discuss this too much in front of Desi, again I focus our discussion on the problem that Desi experienced. Sometimes I share my life story that has experienced the lowest point as well as Desi, so that he understands that in this life he does not fight alone.
And I say the solids that this is all in phase, all the dark things will turn into a bright future. I try to ask about what his hobby is, so that when he is thinking a lot he can divert it with a pleasant busyness.
I also tried to give him confidence in the ideals he wanted to achieve, that one day what he focused on would come true. I just ask him right now to focus on what he wants to achieve, so that he has hope back in life and makes his spirit more burning.
After sharing a long story about many things, Desi said that now she felt quite relieved. He thanked me for listening, and made himself feel valuable again.
Before our conversation was over, I invited Desi to my room. She gave him a new veil as a gift for his birthday today. Coincidentally the veil was my sale that I had brought from Jakarta.
I had brought the veil to wear later when I went to the tourist attractions with Aji and Rindi before we came home from Yogya.
But I think it's better that I give this to Desi, so that she feels a little happier on her birthday. Also as a form of memento.
***
I just found out the facts about Mas Hendra who turned out to be sick from Desi, while packing to go home to Jakarta. It felt like I wanted to see him, and what really happened? what else is being covered up from me?
Finished, I immediately met Rindi and Aji and told them that I should go home at this time. Those who heard my words were shocked, and asked what my reason was to rush like this.
“Loh why Ra?” Ask Rindi.
“Gue can't tell now Rin.” My answer is short, because for now I do not want to share what I am feeling to them.”
“We have not had a train ticket for Ra, where can if you have to now also.” Aji.
“Can Ji, let's try it first. If you can't get on the bus or something. Udah mending you guys also neat-fragile ya.” I answered with a slightly panicked face, for some reason it felt like I was so worried about the real thing that was happening to Mas Hendra.
Seeing us who were arguing, finally Mas Yudi came and asked what was going on. After hearing my explanation, it turned out that Mas Yudi said he was willing to take us home.
Because previously Chef Bayu had advised to take care and serve us during our stay at the boarding school, the mandate of Chef Bayu was what made Mas Yudi ask us to go home with him only.
Hearing the statement from Mas Yudi, the three of us agreed to accept and rushed back to Jakarta. But before that, I tried asking about Mas Hendra to Mas Yudi. He must know more about this, I thought.
"Mas, may I ask you a question?" Tanyku's.
"Yes, what's Ma'am? can I help you?" Sahut Mas Yudi with friendly.
"Mas knows what Mas Hendra is sick of? and treated where?" I asked back, trying in a calm tone.
"Huh? ng.ngga Ma'am, I don't know anything. Isn't Mas Hendra okay, Ma'am?" His words now stammered, I just fell silent and looked into his eyes.
"Even not long ago Mas Hendra had come here kok Mbak." Resume next.
Hearing his reply I just nodded and thanked him for the information he had given me. But from his body gesture, I think Mas Yudi is not telling the truth.
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"Sometimes every new person we meet can be a clue, for we can continue the journey and wade through life."
