Dream Womb

The finger that is stuck

That morning after Mas Andre left for work, I was desperate to go to the hospital where I used to check fertility like the previous days. Nothing has changed, I have come to bring a hunk of hope to a place where I hate so much. Once upon a time, while waiting for the obstetrician to come, and I was dizzy with the smell of drugs and alcohol, suddenly I saw the accident victim's patient coming. At that moment, it felt, my entire stomach asked to be spewed.

I used to think hospitals were scary places, but they are different now. I have already begun to make peace with the situation, and regard the hospital as a means to hang on to hope.

I was wearing black toen pants and a loose blouse with floral patterns. I don't know why, but wearing a flower-patterned dress that seemed to represent my feelings, a feeling of hope to get a soothing view when I went out of the house.

I never calmed down inside the house, especially when Mas Andre was there. My heart is always wary if it receives unpleasant treatment, especially Mas Andre always managed to find my faults and weaknesses.

Coming to the hospital made my memory roll at my meeting with a man who until now, if remembered, warmed my cheeks. With a faint smile, I entered the polyclinic lobby of the womb.

The meeting with Haris a week ago still left something in this chest. Something was exploding, but I didn't want to vomit because I enjoyed it. I feel trapped in a feeling I can't explain.

I pray that I don't see him that day. I would definitely be nervous in front of her as I remembered our last meeting at lunch. He treated me so manusingly, and I can't deny that those memories are still neatly stored in my memory.

After registering and getting the queue number, I sat down on a long bench available in front of the obstetrician's practice room. It was my favorite waiting spot, an iron bench that I thought was quite comfortable.

I remember every detail there. The polyclinic is on the left side of the hospital. Along the passage that leads there, there are large pots containing shady plants. Then at the other end, there is a small minimarket that provides various needs.

Although it was not Monday, quite a number of patients came. Though I deliberately chose a day that I thought was not too busy, but it was still crowded.

Apparently, the hope of not meeting the man who had stolen my attention was futile. I saw Haris coming, then smiled at me.

The deg!

This heart beats faster. I wanted to return her smile, but when I saw a woman next to her, my smile broke out instantly. The woman looked at me as if she was warning me.

'Don't be here! Don't sit next to me, ' I pray in my heart, trying to dispel Haris with the strength of mind so as not to sit next to me even though the other chairs have already begun to be crowded by patients.

I was worried that Haris felt uncomfortable sitting next to me. So instead, he had to find a place far away from me.

I held my breath because the man actually chose to sit next to me. Haris sat to my left, while his wife sat to his left. Accidentally, my wife and I were flanking Haris. Slowly, I exhaled, very subtly, worried that Haris could hear it.

I was still trying to calm the pounding in my heart that was more like the pounding of the waves, very strong, and I could barely control it. For a moment we looked at each other, when he just opened the polyclinic door. I saw warmth in Haris's eyes.

I lowered my head, hoping that Haris would not recognize me, but it seemed like my hope was in vain. I was still confused, why did he choose to sit right next to me?

Haris's wife turned to look at me, we looked at each other for a moment. Looks like she recognized me, maybe she's trying to remember who I am. I'm sure he actually remembers. But quickly, the woman turned her face away as if she did not recognize me, even greeting me, as if she was not interested.

"Hopefully the queue isn't too long because I have a lot of work in the office today."

I heard the words of his wife Haris.

"Patience first, later also the doctor came," said Haris.

"I'm surprised, you know, honey. Why, anyway, the hospital services in Indonesia can not be on time? He said practice at nine, but the doctor came by at ten, sometimes eleven. It feels useless, a waste of time here! Even though in the office, I can do many things," Haris' wife scolded.

"Yes, but if you complain a lot it won't change anything either. So you better be patient" said Haris to calm his wife.

"Honey, I have today to win the tender for the release of land that the toll road project will build. If I'm stuck here constantly, I might not make it in time" she complained.

"Wait a minute, the doctor will come. You can tell your assistant to come first? Why do you pay them dearly if you have to intervene yourself?"

"Different, dong, dear, if the notary who came directly compared to his assistant who came. Must be from the other party as well as his notary who came directly. Assistant just came along to help."

So apparently, his wife Haris' profession is a notary. What a beautiful and dream profession for everyone. Moreover, women can be notaries, definitely need a high education. It is appropriate how to speak classy, smart, also smart.

I just lowered my head. Inadvertently my eyes were on a pair of stiletto shoes that Haris' wife was wearing. Slowly, I pulled my leg. At that time I only wore home sandals, no shoes wrapped around my feet. The bag I was wearing was also not an expensive bag like the one Haris' wife was holding.

I'm just a housewife, a wife who can't work, and always hangs on to her husband. Plus one more weakness, I can't have children. Then what can I be proud of?

'Keysha, how unfortunate your fate is, ' my mind is self-pitying.

Suddenly I felt a touch on my fingers. I flinched and saw what it was? I bought my eyes because I found Haris' finger touching me. I thought it was a mistake, an accident, so I reflexively pulled my left hand. But the fingers held me back by linking between my fingers. I still could not escape the shock of being secretly the link turned into a grasp.

Yes, God, what did Haris do? What if his wife finds out? My heart degub is getting irregular, and this breath is like being blocked in the chest, a very tightness.