CARA

The painful truth

"Ni.." 'erang Rara shrieked, as they had already boarded the horse carriage. "Kan Mbak has said many times, we are still in need, can not go out unaccompanied. If Rama finds out, we can't get out again, Ni."

"Sorry, Ma'am," Anjani said with regret.

"Mana Kangmas Surya again mergokin

you," murmured Rara in panic.

"Later.. later... Anjani who spoke with Kangmas Surya, "Anjani replied while hugging her brother tightly, because she felt guilty. "Don't be angry, Ma'am..."

"You don't know how panicked it was when Yu Marsinah said you ran away" Rara said with her tone rising by an octave.

Anjani turned towards Yu Marsinah while narrowing sharply. Yu Marsinah's grim turn towards Anjani.

"Just for a second..." Anjani tries to defend herself while hugging her brother tightly. "Anjani just wanted to see a pen."

"Yes, wait a minute, Ni. After Mbak bought the yarn, we can go where you want," muttered Rara trying to be patient. Rara feels herself in full charge of Anjani, so when the girl disappears, she panics half to death.

"Sorry, Ma'am, sorry," murmured Anjani tightened her embrace. "This promise is the last one, Ma'am."

Rara let out a long sigh, then patted the arm of her sister who was hugging her neck tightly. Despite being a half-sister, Rara loves Anjani very much, because since a long time ago, she did want a sister who can be invited to play. Rara is also close to Laras, only her relationship with Laras is more formal, because Laras is in fact her feet are the same as Kangmas Surya. It's hard to joke.

"At least, Ma'am could see the handsome one," Rara joked with a laugh, making Yu turn his head in shock.

"Peach the eye, Ma'am. The little handsome, instantly wavered," Anjani replied with her warm laugh.

"Yes how not to waver, if Raden Mas Reksanegara. I'm handsome, good, honorable, too" replied Rara while supposing Raden Mas Reksanegara who is a idol of his heart since long ago.

"Know where, Ma'am?" ask Anjani curiously. Yu Marsinah was also curious to hear it.

"It's no secret anymore, Ni," Rara murmured with a warm laugh. "Mbak, knew his brother Raden Mas Adipati Reksanegara. I exchange letters often too. The information from there too, Ni."

"Whose son is he, Ma'am?"

"He was the son of the regent of Sleman, Ni. Ever since her father died, she took over the title of Sleman's regent, "Rara retorted slowly. "Surprisingly, until now he has not proposed to anyone, even though he has been the Regent of Sleman for eight years."

"How old is he now, Ma'am?" ask Anjani in shock.

"Bak doesn't know, Ni, maybe 27 years?" muttered Rara guessing. "Ah.. yes..he also reportedly ever wanted to get a scholarship in Dutch college."

Anjani widened her eyes in shock. "That's hard, Ma'am?"

Scholarships from the Dutch government are very difficult to obtain. Scholarships are only given to people who are smart, influential and great. Anjani always dreamed of getting the offer, but whatever the power, her parents certainly did not approve of it. Reading should be sorted out. The spread of news Kartini who wrote articles on women's emancipation and criticism of social construction, made her parents become very worried if one of her daughters turned into another Kartini. Her conservative parents thought Kartini was too liberal, too imitating the thought of a londo who did not fit the noble and insolent thought of being a woman. Since then, her parents have been hiding books deemed 'dangerous'.

"Mbak doesn't know what his pulse is, but he heard that he refused the offer, because he's the only man in the Wiryadiningrat family, '" Rara murmured again while looking over his shoulder. "Luckily, he declined the offer, Ni. If it wasn't for him, Sleman wouldn't be as advanced as he is now."

"Let's say, if Mbak also don't want him far away, let's see the handsome continues," Anjani teased that greeted a soft punch on his forehead with a fan Rara's hand.

...----------------...

"Kangmas," call Anjani slowly when Kangmas Surya hangs out with her. The two looked at each other. Anjani hates this situation, but she has no other choice, because the man can easily complain to Rama. If Anjani alone is pinned forever, he will accept it with pleasure, but the problem is that Anjani also drags Mbak Rara in it.

"To Kangmas workspace," Surya said in a flat tone.

"Here you are, ndak papa, Kangmas," Anjani refused to try as polite as possible.

"Kangmas also wants to talk to you, Anjani," murmured Surya again, before leaving Anjani just to enter his study, without receiving a rejection.

"Why?" ask Kangmas Surya flat.

Anjani gulped his saliva, then said again, "Kangmas... Anjani asked for help to tell Rama."

The man was silent in his place. Long enough, until Anjani raises his head, trying to find answers. The two stared for some time, making Anjani uneasy on her own.

"Kangmas ndak papa if you want to report the matter earlier, but Anjani please do not drag Yu Marsinah and Mbak Rara into it," Anjani murmured again while squeezing his fingers restlessly.

The man only nodded his head briefly, as if understanding what Anjani was asking for. "You came here just for that?" asked Kangmas Surya again, making Anjani speechless.

"Yeah, Kangmas. Kangmas himself...

said what?" muttered Anjani while glancing towards his eldest brother.

The man seemed to let out a long sigh, then said, "Kangmas misses..."

Anjani widened her eyes in shock. His heart rumbled even more intensely. This was why he always avoided being alone with the man. Kangmas Surya has held a heart for him since he was 13 years old. The man had even promised to marry her later - then 14-year-old Anjani and 23-year-old Kangmas Surya. That is of course very crazy, because they are still one blood, even though different mothers.

"H-that's it, Kangmas, Anjani came to the room" said Anjani, hurriedly rising from his seat and rushing to the door. However, before he could open the door, the man's hand immediately stretched out and closed it again. Anjani is getting panicked and agitated. He reflexively retreated and accidentally hit the body of Kangmas Surya who was standing behind him.

"Anjani," whispered Kangmas Surya, making the fur of Anjani's nudge stand up. The man moved one hand hugging Anjani's body from behind in a slow motion. Anjani tried to avoid, but again he hit the man's body. Kangmas Surya's hand held the door, slowly came down and locked the tall teak-wood door.

"Kangmas... This is not true! We're still family" Anjani murmured frantically, feeling an unworthy intimacy.

"You said you wanted to marry Kangmas yourself, Ni. Why are you ignoring Kangmas now?" said Kangmas Surya with a tone of heartache while hugging Anjani tighter with both hands.

"That was it, Kangmas," Anjani murmured, growing more panicked, as the embrace grew tighter and tighter in his body. "Anjani was nine years old at the time."

"Nine years and seventeen years, what's the difference, Ni? Age is just a number, your feelings remain the same," replied Kangmas Surya did not accept, while drowning his face in the curve of his stepbrother's neck. Anjani begged with a trembling body, then tried to be free from the man's embrace. However, the man did not let go and hugged her tighter.

"Anjani's feelings are different, Kangmas," Anjani said with a heavy breath, holding back her weeping of frustration. He felt harassed by his own half-brother now. Kangmas Surya had never done anything this close to her before. What the man did today clearly hurt Anjani, as a woman who felt abused.

"Why? Because we're family?" reply Kangmas Surya does not want to lose. "Our mother is different, Ni!"

Anjani exerts more energy this time and pushes Kangmas Surya's body away from him. This time, the man let go and slightly staggered, due to Anjani's encouragement.

"Despite that, we remain Tjakradiningrat, Kangmas! Rama might bless us! Kangmas has to stop.. stop harboring feelings for Anjani," exclaimed Anjani with his hunting breath.

"You're afraid of being scolded by Rama, Ni?" asked Kangmas Surya as if he understood the location of Anjani's anger. "Is that all your anger?"

"Kangmas ndak will understand" said Anjani again, trying to explain as best as possible.

Kangmas Surya immediately stepped closer to Anjani, making Anjani reflexively retreat with his shocked face. The man clutched both of his shoulders, then lowered his head towards her. Anjani tries to let go of the man's grasp, but Kangmas Surya further tightens his grip.

"Even once Anjani wants to be with Kangmas. Anjani ndak will be Kangmas' official wife" Anjani murmured again, trying to resuscitate the man.

"Yes, you will be Kangmas' second wife, Anjani," muttered Kangmas Surya as she cupped her hands across Anjani's face and forced the girl to look up at him. "We just need to be together, Ni. Status is not important. You can be Kangmas' mistress or second wife, but you should know that Kangmas only loves you."

Anjani scared. He did not feel flattered or anything, but he instead felt a tremendous fear in this eldest brother. This guy seems obsessed with her. Kangmas Surya pulled him into the man's arms. Anjani's body trembled violently in fear. His mind froze for a moment. Kangmas Surya hugged him so tightly that Anjani could feel the heat of the man's body.

"Kangmas will talk to Rama about us" said Kangmas Surya again while peeping the top of Anjani's head gently. "Kangmas will do anything to get you, Ni. If we have to elope, Kangmas will do it. Leave everything for you. We'll live together, build a happy little family. Kangmas can't wait to see kids who look like you, Ni."

Anjani frowned hearing Kangmas Surya's words to her. The man was so obsessed with wanting to have it. Right at the same time, Anjani came to her senses.

The man didn't love her. The man just wanted to fuck her.