BECAUSE MISS "BRIDGERTON"
chapter 17
SHE KISSED BILLIE.
This is the true definition of madness.
He kissed Billie Bridgerton, the last girl in the world he could ever dream of, but for God's sake, when Billie swooped at him, and the girl's chin was sticking out and shaking, all George could see was the girl's lips and all he could smell was her scent.
And all he could feel was the heat of Billie's skin under his fingers, and he wanted more. More than that.
More Billie.
His other hand wrapped around Billie's body at astonishing speed, and George didn't think, he couldn't think. He just pulls Billie closer, tighter, then kisses her.
He wants to devour Billie.
He wants to have it.
She wants to hold Billie in her arms and hold her tight and kiss her until she finally regains her senses, until she stops doing crazy things and stops taking crazy risks, and start acting like the woman she should be while still being herself and—
George could not think. His mind was mixed, torn apart by the heat of the moment.
Again.his mind begged. It was the only thing that made sense to him. More of this. More Billie.
George cupped Billie's face with both hands, holding her back. But the girl could not keep quiet. Her lips moved under George's lips, giving a counter kiss with the girl's distinctive passion. He rode hard and played with all his heart and for God's sake he kissed in the same way.It was as if George was his win and Billie would enjoy it.
Everything is so crazy, so wrong but feels delicious and perfect. It was as if every sensation in the world was wrapped up into one woman, and George would never be content to feel it. At that time, in that room, he would never be satisfied.
George's palm moved to Billie's shoulder, then to his back, pulling Billie closer until her hip pressed against the girl's belly. Billie's body is small, and she's strong, but she has curves in all the best places.
George is not a monk. She kissed a woman, a woman who knew how to kiss her back. But he never wanted someone as big as he wanted Billie. He never wanted anything as big as this kiss.
This kiss, and all that may follow after it.
“Billie,” George groaning. “Billie.”
Billie made a sound. Maybe George's name. And somehow that's all it takes.
Oh God. Awareness hits George. His brain is awake and his sanity is back. He staggered backwards, the electric current that had been splashing so hot between them was now jerking him away.
What the hell just happened?
George took a breath. No, he's trying to catch his breath. Those are two completely different things.
Billie asked what George wanted.
And George answered. He wants Billie. He doesn't even have to think about it.
Obviously, he didn't think about it, because if he did, he wouldn't have done it.
George ran one hand to the head. Then one more. Then he gave up and grabbed her hair, pulling her scalp until she growled in pain.
“You kissed me,” Billie said, and George had enough common sense not to say the girl kissed him back. Because he started it. He started it, and they both knew Billie would never do it.
George shook his head, a small thoughtless gesture that did not manage to clear his head. “I'm sorry,” he said stiffly. “That's not—I mean—”
He cursed. It seems only up to here his understanding.
“You kissed me,” Billie said again, and this time she sounded suspicious. “‘Why—”
“I don't know,” says George Sharp. He cussed again, putting his hands in his hair and turning to his back to Billie. God fucking. Shit, damn
He swallowed. “That's a mistake,” said.
“What?”
Just one word. It wasn't enough for George to decipher Billie's tone of voice. Maybe it's better. He turned around, forcing himself to look at Billie while at the same time not allowing himself to see.
He doesn't want to see Billie's reaction. He doesn't want to know what Billie thinks of him. “It was a mistake,” said, because that's what he had to say. “Do you understand?”
Billie's eyes narrowed. Face stiffened. “Very.”
“By God, Billie, no offense—”
“Do not take offense? No offence? Kau—” Billie stopped herself, threw a stealthy glance towards the open door, and lowered her voice into an angry hiss. “Not me who started.”
“I am very aware of it.”
“What are you thinking?”
“Obviously, I don't think,” says George ketus.
Billie's eyes widened, gleaming with pain, then she turned around, hugging her own body.
And George finally knew what regret really meant. He exhaled a trembling breath, escaping his hands into his hair. “I'm sorry,” he said.for the second time in a few minutes. “I'll marry you, of course.”
“What?” Billie turned around. “No.”
George was tense. It felt as if someone had taken an iron rod and stuffed it onto his back. “What did you say?”
“Don't be stupid, George. You don't want to marry me.”
That's true, but George wasn't stupid enough to say it out loud.
“And you know I don't want to marry you.”
“As you said very clearly.”
“You only kissed me because you were upset.”
That's not true, but George kept quiet.
“So I received your apology.” Billie's chin is lifted. “And we will never talk about it again.”
“Agree.”
They stood there for a moment, frozen in such an awkward tableau. George should have jumped up in excitement. Any young girl would have already screamed loudly. Or looking for his father. And pastor. And the special permission that is woven forms a snare. But not Billie. No, Billie just looked at him with near-abnormal arrogance and said, “I hope you will accept my apology.”
“Request—” What? George gaping. Why would Billie apologize? Or is he just trying to get in the wind? He always knew how to shake George.
“Not that means I can pretend I didn't reply... uh..” Billie gulped, and George felt a little pleasure from the fact that Billie's face was blushing before finishing her sentence. “It... uh..”
He felt a lot of pleasure from the fact that Billie could not finish her sentence at all.
“You love it,” he said with a slow smile. It would be unwise to push Billie in a moment like this, but George couldn't help himself.
Billie was agitated. “Everyone should feel the first kiss.”
“Then I feel honored,” said George while bowing politely.
Billie's lips opened in shock, perhaps even in fear. Goody. George has turned things around.
“I didn't expect the guy was you, of course,” Billie said.
George swallowed his annoyance and instead muttered, “Maybe you were expecting someone else?”
Billie stiffened her shoulders. “No specific person.”
George chose not to analyze the torrent of pleasure roaring all over his body thanks to the statement.
“I think I always thought one of your sisters would be the one,” Billie continued. “Andrew, maybe-”
“Not Andrew,” cut George sharp.
“No, maybe not,” Billie agreed, her head was shaken to the side as she thought about it. “But it used to seem possible.”
George looked at the girl with increasing irritation. While Billie is not completely unfazed by the situation, she is clearly not as influential as George thought.
“It won't be the same,” he heard himself say.
Billie gnashing. “What?”
“If you kiss someone else.” He stepped forward, unable to ignore how his blood was buzzing with anticipation. “It won't be the same.”
“Well...” Billie looks confused, with so much fun. “I don't think so,” he finally said. “I mean... different people..”.
“Very different,” George approve.
Billie gaped, and a few seconds passed before the words appeared. “I'm not sure who you're comparing yourself to.”
“With anyone.” George is moving closer. “All people.”
“George?” Billie's eyes looked big, but she didn't say no.
“Do you want me to kiss you again?” George asked.
“Of course not.” but Billie said it too soon.
“Are you sure?”
Billie gulps. “That's a very bad idea.”
“Very bad,” says George softly.
“So we... shouldn't?”
George touched Billie's cheek, and this time he whispered it. “Do you want me to kiss you again?”
Billie moves. George could not say whether the girl shook her head to say yes or no. He felt that the girl did not know either.
“Billie?” he muttered, it was close enough that his breath was whispered into Billie's skin.
Billie's breath choked, and she said, “Said I won't marry you.”
“True.”
“Well, I said you don't need to marry me.”
George nodded.
“It still applies.”
“If I kiss you again?”
Billie nodded.
“So this doesn't mean anything?”
“No..”
Something warm and beautiful lay on George's chest. It will never mean anything. And Billie knows it.
“This simply means..” Billie gulped, her lips quiver when close. “...that there are no consequences.”
George rubbed his lips against the girl's cheek. “No consequences,” reset is soft.
“No.”
“I can kiss you again..” George's hand moves to Billie's butt, but he only exerts a small pressure. Billie can stay away anytime. He could break free from his embrace, cross the room, and leave. George wants Billie to know that. He needs to know that Billie knows this. There will be no accusations, no words to Billie herself that she was swept away by George's passion.
If Billie gets swept up in passion, it's her own passion.
George's lips touched the girl's ears. “I can kiss you again,” repeat.
Billie nodded small. Small nod. George felt it. “Again,” whispered Billie.
George's teeth found Billie's earlobe and bit her gently. “And again.”
“Consider—”
“What are you thinking?” George smiled over the girl's skin. He couldn't believe how much fun it felt. He recognized passionate kissing, passionate kissing, wild and hungry. This kiss is all that, but there's something more.
Something exciting.
“Think...” Billie gulps. “I think you should kiss me again.” He looked up, his eyes were clear. “And I thought you'd better close the door.”
George never moved that fast in his life. He had thought of pushing the chair down the door handle just to keep the cursed object closed.
“It still doesn't dare anything,” Billie said while both of George's arms hugged her.
“But no consequences.”
“No.”
“You don't need to marry me.”
“No need.”
But it could be. The thought shot through George's mind surprisingly and felt warm. He could marry that girl. There is no reason why you can't.
Stability, maybe. But he felt he had lost his sanity the moment his lips touched Billie's lips.
Billie on her tiptoes, and raised her face. “If you're my first kiss,” she said, her lips curved with a faint jail expression, “you might just be second.”
“Perhaps the third,” said George, and caught the girl's lips with hers.
“It is important to know,” said Billie, who only managed to say those three words between kisses.
“To know?” George's lips moved to Billie's neck, making the girl's body curl seductively in her arms.
Billie nodded, gasping as one of George's hands moved along his ribs. “How to kiss,” she clarifies. “That's a skill.”
George felt himself smiling. “And you love being an expert.”
“True.”
George kissed Billie's neck, then her collarbone, thanking her for the current dress's neck model, round and deep, revealing skin as smooth as cream from the shoulders all the way to the top of the breast. “I foresee great things for you.”
Billie's only answer was a gasping sound of shock. Because of what, George wasn't sure—maybe his tongue, which was flicked along the sensitive skin peeking out from the fringe of the lacy dress. Or maybe his teeth, which bite gently along the side of Billie's neck.
George did not dare to drop Billie onto the long sofa; he did not trust himself to that extent. But he could push it until Billie leaned against the sofa, lifted it up a little and sat it on the couch.
And my God, Billie knew instinctively what to do. His legs were opened, and when George lifted his skirt, Billie hooked both legs to George's body. Maybe it's just for balance, but when George puts his body together, the girl doesn't care. Billie's skirt is still in the way, so are her pants, but George can feel it. George was so passionate and he pressed his body onto Billie, his body knowing where he wanted to go. Billie is a country girl; she definitely knows what this means, yet she gets lost in the same passion, and she pulls George closer.
Jesus, if it continues like this George will embarrass himself like an inexperienced boy.
He took a breath. “It's too strong,” he gasps, and forces himself away.
“No,” is all that Billie said, but both of her hands moved to George's head, letting George kiss him even as he put a little distance between their bodies.
So George kissed her. He kissed her non-stop. I kissed Billie carefully, circling the limits of her own passion, too aware of how close she was to the limits of consciousness.
And he kissed Billie gently, because of this Billie, and somehow he knew no one had ever thought of being gentle with the girl.
“George,” says Billie.
George lifted his lips from Billie's lips, just a little, just a breath. “Hmmm.”
“We must... we must stop.”
“Mmmm,” he agrees. But he didn't stop. He could have stopped; he had control of his passion now. But he doesn't want to.
“George,” says Billie again. “I hear people's voices. “
George backwards. Listen in.
He cursed.
“Open the door,” hiss Billie.
George did. Quickly. A closed door always arouses suspicion. He looked towards Billie. “You may...” He cleared his throat and made a gesture near his head. “You may want..”
George isn't an expert in women's hairstyles, but he's pretty sure Billie's hair doesn't look like it should.
Billie paled and frantically tidied her hair, her deft fingers pulling the hairpins then thrusting them back into place. “Better?”
George grimacing. There's a part behind Billie's right ear where her brown hair looks like it's sticking out of her head.
They heard voices in the hallway. “George?”
Her mother's. Oh God.
“George!”
“In the sitting room, Mom,” reply George, and walk to the doorway. At least he could hold it in the hallway for a few seconds. He turned his head towards Billie, sharing one final urgent glance. Billie lowered both hands from her hair and opened, as if to say, “How?”
There's nothing more to do.
“Mother,” George stepped into the passageway. “You're up.”
His mother offered him a cheek, which George obediently kissed. “I can't stay in my room forever.”
“No, although of course Mom is allowed to—”
“Shirted?” cut mother. “I refuse to grieve. Not until we receive more definitive news.”
“I'm about to say ‘break’,” says George.
“I've done it.”
Very good, Lady Manston, George thought. Funny how his mother still managed to surprise him with her endurance.
“I was thinking,” her mother started, walked past George and into the sitting room. “Oh, hello, Billie, I didn't realize you were here.”
“Lady Manston.” Billie bends her knees saluting. “I wish maybe I could help.”
“How good are you. I'm not sure what can be done, but your presence is always appreciated.” Lady Manston's head was shuffled to the side. “What is the wind outside strong?”
“What?” billie's hand moved self-consciously to her hair. “Oh. Yeah, slightly. I forgot to bring my hat.”
They all looked at the hat he had placed on the table.
“I mean that I forgot to wear it,” Billie let out a nervous laugh that George hoped was not detected by his mother. “Or rather, to be honest, I did not forget. The air is fresh.”
“I won't tell your mother,” Lady Manston said with a patient smile.
Billie nodded in thanks, then a clumsy silence appeared in the room. Or maybe not at all clumsy. Maybe George just felt clumsy, because he knew what Billie was thinking, and he knew what he was thinking, and somehow it seemed impossible for his mother to think of anything else.
But it seemed so, because his mother turned with a smile that George knew was forced, and asked, “Have you thought further about going to London?”
“Slightly,” answers. “I know some people in War Affairs Office.”
“George thought of going to London and looking for information,” Lady Manston said to Billie.
“Yes, he already told me. That's a very good idea.”
Lady Manston nodded and turned to face George. “Your father also knows many people, but..”.
“I can go,” said George quickly, saving his mother from pain should explain her husband's current incompetence.
“You may know the same people,” Billie said.
George turned. “True.”
“I think I'll come with you,” his mother said.
“No, I have to stay home,” George instantly replied. “Dad will need you, and it will be easier for me to do what to do myself.”
“Do not be silly. Your father needs nothing but news of his son, and I can't do anything to help from here.”
“And Mom can do it in London?”
“Maybe not,” I am his mother, “but at least no possibility.”
“I won't be able to do anything if I'm worried about Mom.”
Her mother raised one of her perfectly curved eyebrows. “Then don't worry.”
George gritted his teeth. There was no point arguing with his mother when she was like this, and in fact, he wasn't even sure why he didn't want her to come along. It's just a strange feeling that keeps bothering you that some things are best done alone.
“All will be well,” said Billie, trying to ease tensions between mother and child. George sent a grateful look, but he felt the girl did not see him. Billie is more like Lady Bridgerton than people think, George realized. He's a peacemaker, in a way he can't….
She watched as Billie clasped one of her mother's hands. “I know Edward will come home to us,” he said as he squeezed lightly.
A warm feeling of pride that almost felt comfortable swirled around in George. And he swore he could feel Billie squeezing his hand too.
“You're so good, Billie,” Lady Manston said. “You and Edward are so close.”
“He's my best friend,” said Billie. “Well, besides Mary, of course.”
George. “Do not forget Andrew.”
Billie turned towards him while frowning.
Lady Manston leaned forward and kissed Billie on the cheek. “I'm willing to give anything to see you and Edward together again.”
“And you will see it,” Billie said firmly. “He will go home—if not soon, at least in the end.” Billie gave a smile that was approaching calming. “We'll be together again. I know it.”
“We'll all be together again,” George exasperated.
Billie looked at him while frowning, this time much more defiant.
“I keep looking at his face,” his mother says. “Every time I close my eyes.”
“Me too,” Billie admits.
George saw the red color. He had just kissed the girl—and he was pretty sure Billie's eyes were closed by then.
“George?” mother called.
“What?” ketus' tone.
“You make a sound.”
“I cleared my throat,” he lied. Did Billie think about Edward kissing her? No, that girl won't do it. Or yes? How did George know? And can he blame her? If Billie thinks about Edward, it's not something that the girl did on purpose.
Which somehow makes it worse.
George watched as Billie spoke in a soft tone with her mother. Is the girl in love with Edward? No, it's impossible. Because if he did, Edward wouldn't be so stupid as not to reciprocate his feelings. And if that were the case, they would have been married.
Anyway, Billie said earlier that she had never been kissed. And Billie wasn't lying.
Edward's gentleman—maybe more than George, after today's incident—but if he falls in love with Billie, there's no way he'll go to America without kissing her.
“George?”
George looked up, his mother watching him with a bit of worry. “You don't look healthy,” said the woman.
“I don't feel well,” the answer is rude.
Her mother was slightly shaken back, the only indication that she was surprised. “I think none of us feel healthy,” he said.
“I do wish I could go to London,” Billie said.
George's attention flinched back. “Are you kidding?” Oh my God, it's gonna be a disaster. If he was worried, his mother would distract him…
Billie backed off, visibly offended. “Why am I kidding?”
“You hate London.”
“I've only been there once,” says stiff.
“What?” the Lady Manston. “How is it possible? I know you didn't follow Season, but the trip there wasn't one day.”
Billie cleared her throat. “There were doubts on my mother's side after what happened when I was introduced at the palace.”
Lady Manston was a little bewitched, then managed to recover when she announced cheerfully: “Well, it's decided, then. We can't keep living in the past.”
George watched his mother with a slowly emerging fear. “Decide what, exactly?”
“Billie must go to London.”
DON'T FORGET AS USUAL!!
