BALADA THE PRAJA

Ep. 5 – ENCHANTED

As mentioned earlier, since Muda Praja I am one of the cadres in the General Bureau, which has the authority in terms of the management of Balairung, Parade Field and Menza Building, so after Madya Praja I was often in charge and was in those places.

That afternoon, from above the sound system control room in Balairung, I observed several Capra (Calon Praja, the initial stage before being confirmed as Muda Praja) who were following the activities of introducing the Ksatrian environment.

From this top position, I was stunned by the figure of a Capra Perempuan, which I think WOW.. Her beauty is like an angel, very contrasted with other Capra Women. His skin was white and despite not getting a touch of make-up at all (because since the beginning of entry Ksatrian, all make-up and beauty equipment of a kind were confiscated by senior Princesses from the Commando and Polpra) but her extraordinary charms remained clear, especially if compared to friends around him who have been affected by sunburn and physical fatigue.

‘Is this what love is at first sight?’ my mind was softened, unable to take this view away from her very attractive figure.

Everyone has a different experience when it comes to falling in love at first sight. Opinions related to this are also certainly different because of its perceptual nature, depending on the person who perceives it.

However, one thing that is certain to happen often, falling in love at first sight does provide a number of unique experiences and will make the heart that experiences it is not calm, but it is not, because all of a sudden the world felt like a somersault. Even for some people, it can feel a bit dizzy and nauseous, as I feel right now.

The sense of attraction when the first impression is true happened and I have experienced the first time to look at his figure.

From google I got new knowledge that the part of my brain at that time was producing chemical compounds called dopamine and neropinephrine in very large quantities. Biologically, my body is full of biochemicals like testosterone and estrogen that mix with dopamine and neropinephrine. This process then produces certain emotions that cause vibrations. So that the effect caused is wrong behavior because my heart is beating is not because. It affects not only my thoughts and feelings, but also my digestive system.

Why did that happen?

I did not know it clearly at that time, but after carefully tracing the origin of the feeling of nausea, I came to understand that the hormone oxytocin produced by the body when we are in love, it also affects our digestive system.

So when there is a sense of happiness, our adrenaline can trigger heart palpitations. It will feel like a mix-up, between the feeling of pleasure mixed into one with a feeling of stubborn, unclear worry.

This of course will make us find it difficult to control ourselves, it is difficult to focus on other things, because our attention is focused entirely on him, he said, which is definitely a very difficult situation to explain.

Somehow, I felt as if I had known that beautiful figure a long time ago. There was a kind of familiar feeling that appeared out of nowhere. Then there is also a comfortable feeling that is difficult to explain.

‘Maybe my maleness soul has returned? I used to know a woman like her, I even made her a boyfriend because I did not want to be preceded by other men. But the feeling of joy does not last forever, when there are other priorities, such as pursuing ideals and a brighter future, with great constancy but I can forget that feeling.. will this interest also be like that time?’ I went back to monologuing with myself.

But I did not have enough time to examine these feelings and the possibilities that would occur in the future, because I could not help myself to find out about his figure.

Then I rushed to the administration to check the files of Candidate Praja. Again utilizing my position as a General Bureau cadre, I had this access and after flipping through the file, I learned that her name was Bintang and was a Pre-Women Candidate from Bengkulu registration.

Since that day, one of the songs from Drive titled “Bersama Bintang” became a companion to my days.

... ♪ ...

Although I can admire the Bintang from a distance, as this afternoon his figure appears in the middle of his row that is moving towards the Darul Ma'arif Mosque, but I still can not convince myself to just greet or approach him.

This stomach seems to be unable to compromise if the distance between us is fairly close. Just a little flickering from her beautiful round eyes, can make my stomach churn great. As if the relationship between feeling and digestion is very close, so the stomach also feels these emotions.

I fully realized that feeling nervous would make it difficult for me to be in a relationship with him, because even just to communicate I had difficulty controlling myself. And because it is only in my leisurely moments that I can be myself, the first thing I have to do is learn to control these feelings of fascination and attraction before I can finally start communicating with them.

But somehow, the more I noticed her figure, I realized this sense of interest was getting stronger. I was interested in the way he walked, in the way he interacted and talked with his friends, in the way he smiled as if held back or dikulum, which could indicate actually he was used to laughing loosely but held back because being a Praja should be able to jaim/guard the image.

For sure, this time I do not want to rush to start a relationship with the Stars. I also don't want to get caught up in this momentary, emotional feeling. I like and am physically attracted. Feelings of passionate love that initially flowery and full of willingness to do anything for her sake, but will fade also as the passage of time.

I wanted to enjoy this feeling of interest slowly and did not want to make the Stars feel afraid of this whole overflow of feelings. The point is I want to be his friend first, make himself comfortable with my being and at the right time I will express the feeling of falling in love at this first sight to him. I want to have a special and happy relationship, one that will last forever, not just for a moment. Then the foundation of our relationship must be strong and the foundation must be built slowly.

... ⁇ CONNECTED...