AXILLAGES

KEEP FIRM

I entered the house that had many people in.yellow flag in front of my house made regrets on myself.

"Sil... Come on in" Maura grabbed me to get inside the house.

"Bec... " Call me in a low tone.

"Lo must be strong!"

"Gue is like Lo"

"We are equally lost"

"Losing the one we love is a mother"

I let out a heavy sigh and closed my eyes for a moment to digest Maura's very touching words.

"Yes.ra...."

"Gue believes in Lo sil..."

"Gue love Lo... Just like Lo love Mama..."

Maura hugged her sister very tightly even though she was a woman but she had to be strong for the sake of her sister and papa.

We stopped when my name was called by someone.

"SAD" 

I looked at the source of the voice.

"You guys?"

"Hi please"

"Lo has to be strong huh" Farah patted me on the shoulder and returned her smile.

"Yes, we know losing someone in love is painful and painful"

"You know where it's from? I'll tell you"

"Gue who was telling sil" Maura cut off their conversation.

"Gue stay first"

"Yes Ra..."

"Yes sis.."

"Please be sad"

"Thank you gaes! You guys are so good with me"

"We are not good with Lo, but good Lo is with us"

"We're happy if you're happy again"

"Don't be sad, we'll be sad"

"Yes sil... You have to be strong for today and the future"

"We love you Lo kok sil"

One warm hug on the body of the precepts and all of them in the arms of the friend.

"Thank you gaes! I also love Lo all who are always there in joy and sorrow" my smile appears even though short.

---

This morning after my mama's funeral, I didn't go home but calmed my pretty messed up mind.

I parked my car carelessly, and I went into an old barn, where this place is the old vagirin's headquarters and gangsters.

I climbed the stairs one by one.

I was on top of the warehouse.

"LORD! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY MAMA SO FAST?"

"WHAT'S WRONG, GOD...."

"REALLY GOD.... I'M NOT READY YET!"

"IS THIS MY DESTINY?"

"ANSWER GOD.... ANSWER THAT....."

I sat on the floor full of sand with cries with screams no one heard.

"MAMA.... WHY DID MOMMY LEAVE SO FAST?"

"SILA STILL LOVES MAMA....."

"SILA CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MAMA...."

"MAA...."

I took out all my buried kunek, tears that flowed the sign that messy eyes that I now feel crazy like a crazy person, like trying to kill my own life.

The sound from behind made me lift my head and wipe my tears, so I looked back and saw someone following me. FANDIE.

"Fandy?"

The man approached me.

"Lo must be strong sil..."

"Heavy light... But Lo has to be sincere"

"Lo the woman who cannot be weak..."

The man wiped my tears.

"Ng... Why is Lo here?"

"Make Lo"

"Make me? Make what?"

"Gue know losing a loved one is hard"

"Lo doesn't know that losing a mother is hard"

"Gue's here for Lo.."

"Gue doesn't need Lo!" I turned a lazy eye.

"Gue is a jerk and I'm a cruel person I once loved Lo and Lo! But trust me you're still in love with Lo!"

"Gue wants to be alone. please stay with me"

I know what it means to come when I'm sad again doesn't mean I'm happy that someone cares about me, but I hate that person taking a chance at a time like this.

The man granted my request, he left in front of me and left me.

Moments later there was a man who approached me, he sat beside me and gave me mineral water.

"Make Lo"

I raised my head and looked at the man.

"Ro's Napain here?"

"Take" Galang poured mineral water for me.

"No" reject me.

"Should I drink it?"

"Necessary"

"Judah take it"

"Gue's not thirsty Lang!"

"Lo can't argue!"

"Please stay with me"

"Gue needs to be alone"

"Can't please... Lo that's the girl I don't want to Lo why"

"Lo don't know how hurt I feel right now"

"Gue tau sil" Galang turned my head to face him.

"Gue loves you anyway..."

"Gue doesn't want you why..."

"Originally you know... If we lose someone we love and love, it doesn't last long God has his own plan..."

"Gue doesn't want Lo to get involved in the labyrinth and doesn't know the way out"

"Life is up and down and black and white, Lo is not as long as below surely Lo will go up and Lo also will not be in the black phase certainly can be in the white phase"

"Remember sil... God has a plan for you in the future"

"Gue doesn't want Lo stuck in a complicated twist"

"Gue wants Lo to change for Mama Lo... Stay away from the nature of Lo who is labeled as a kindhearted woman who is naughty a school prima donna with a badgirl degree"

My eyes are round I try to digest Galang speech, it seems my head was hit by a very heavy object chaotic he. today I was so chaotic... My heart is fucked... My mind is also confused.....

"Gue Lo sil"

Galang approached his body on my body he embraced me in warmth. Tears I can not stand in the mute that is still attached to my lips, you can not say what, you can only return the arms of the man with a rush of tears.

"Nil..." Galang let go of his embrace and wiped my tears.

"Gue doesn't want Lo to reciprocate my feelings now, I know you need time I just want the best for Lo"

One sweet peck on my forehead now my body freezes not knowing what to do and saying what my red eyes are my messed up hair.