A Wounded Smile

chapter 19's

amanda's dinner recounts when she was a child meeting a handsome boy

I listened carefully I knew I was a weak girl who couldn't do anything but one day I wanted to be a doctor my grades were always good but unfortunately every time the experiment dissected when I looked my blood must have immediately fallen unconscious and unconscious and I finally decided to apply for a job at the office just to be a secretary.

amanda also did not forget to encourage me I was very happy about it.

it's been 2 weeks since I left the house no one is looking for me even my sister sometimes every night I cry in silence feel the suffering I experienced

why do I live in this world just to be treated like this.

not even my own family thinks of me as their own.

sometimes I also see my family.

it's hard to forget them all

I saw them laughing and joking.

same with alfin usually he will be sad because there is no me but now he laughs happily but I am also happy to see him laugh loosely like that.

I still live with amanda he did not feel any objection at all even he was happy to be living alone with her he really wanted a sister.

I was happy to hear it but again my mind kept thinking about my family.

I remember where my sister Alfin laughed so much that it made me smile

for 4 consecutive months I worked at the flower shop and my payday was saved and the rest I made my daily needs even though amanda always refused but I insisted on meeting her own needs I did not want her so burdened because of me.

we are currently being kept for a week.

and I also took my time to study and rest.

and when amanda's permission came out to find swimsuits I used this to look at my family's circumstances

alfin, ela, and gibran one car.

while bella, Kejora goes with mom papa

and I see from their looks like they want to be on the beach.

I went back to Amanda's apartment.

I immediately dropped my body on the sofa I felt very envious of all of them

they can get enough of your mom's affection while I'm a child

I feel like I'm a new stranger from another planet

it was sad when my sister thought I was kicked out of the house.

I really want to hug my mom

I really want them to pamper like other children who always get the love of parents

well even though I'm an adult but still I envy that little boy they always walk with his papa mama

while I asked the slightest reply to judes by mama it was painful to remember all it wanted to feel like I was leaving and disappearing from this world

I don't know why God always keeps me here.

I feel very empty even though in my life I have been given a good friend but still I miss my family

I was jealous when I heard Amanda calling her papa mama spoiled I also wanted to like that to my papa mama but it was all just my hallucination

sometimes I smile at myself imagining how happy I would be to be treated like a 3-year-old